In an attempt to appeal to all demographics, the Republican Party has announced plans to change its symbol from the iconic, steadfast image of the elephant, to a yacht. This campaign to make the historical change in a political party so known for tradition was spearheaded by the young adults of the party, specifically the Young Republic National Federation, also known as the YRNF.
“It’s about time,” said YRNF president Braxton Davis. “Every hard-working, Christian, tax-hating, big business-loving, pro-life, Polo-wearing Republican has a yacht for cracking open American made brewskis.”
The party is frantically preparing for the 2016 presidential election, when the yacht symbol will be in full effect. To at least pretend like they try to save money, they’ll use the rest of the stickers, posters, and pins that have elephants on them until they completely run out.
“This way, the party is more itself. I mean, I’ve met Democrats who love elephants…this girl I dated had an elephant necklace and she voted for Obama. But I can’t even count how many Democrats like yachts on a finger, but that’s mostly because I can’t lift my fingers due to the giant class rings and champion rings from my years of playing good old American football,” Davis added. “And if the Democrats want to get on our level, we think a marijuana cigarette would be a great symbol.”
This transition has been reviews as being very popular among older, ‘respected’ Republican politicians. Mitt Romney said, “While not all Republicans drink American brewskis on their yachts, this symbol really speaks to all generations of Republicans, and will make a huge difference in our long, hard effort to take over the universe.”