HOLLYWOOD, California –
Producers of long-running game show Wheel Of Fortune are in crisis mode after being forced to fire presenter Vanna White after over thirty years of service. The shocking firing comes after footage was released of White in a casino, compulsively playing roulette.
“We appreciate Vanna’s 32 years with us,” said director Bob Cisneros. “However, her recent actions have compromised the production of this all-American favorite. The betrayal felt by viewers upon seeing her spinning around with other wheels is too great to be tolerated. It’s as if she is a wife who cheated on her husband, and her husband are the Wheel of Fortune viewers. She is no longer the loyal servant we once knew and loved.”
Harry Ray, owner of Monte Casino where White was caught on camera, has come out in support of the game show hostess, saying that her actions suggest a greater public shift in American optimism.
“The public have come to the realization that casinos are a better avenue in which to pursue the American dream. Where once you had to work hard to get onto exclusive game shows, now anyone can be a winner. From the lowest of the low, to those born to money, everyone has the potential to become the president of Gamblers Anonymous.”
A social media campaign has been initiated against Ray, with some claiming the whole thing was a publicity stunt, a set-up to promote his business.
“Cameras are never allowed in casinos,” said one Wheel of Fortune loyalist. “Why was Vanna being filmed in the first place, and how did the cameraman know she’d be there? Wake up, people. These are questions we all need to be asking.”
Vanna White could not be reached for comment, but a source close to her stated that she is experiencing great remorse, and insisting it was a one-off fling.
“Vanna loves the Wheel,” the source, on condition of anonymity, told reporters. “But everyone slips up. She was overcome by perfectly human feelings, and made a big mistake. Now she has to pay for it, but it shouldn’t mean the end of this relationship. She is going to fight tooth and nail to try get her position back. If not for herself, she’ll do it for the viewers, and she’ll do it for the love of those light-up letters.”