Vandals Destroy Beirut Monument On 32nd Anniversary of Bombing

JACKSONVILLE, North Carolina – 

32 years ago, 241 servicemen were killed in Beirut, Lebanon during a bombing of their barracks. A memorial was built in Jacksonville, North Carolina to commemorate the lives lost, but apparently someone doesn’t feel as positive about our military.

“We have no idea who would destroy this landmark, but we’re going to have to guess that it was juveniles,” said Lt. Col. Joe Goldsmith of the 3rd Division. “Judging by the crude humor displayed in the desecration of the sign, we are working with police to discover who could have, and would even consider, committing such a crime.”

Photographs show the monument, which reads “We Came In Peace,” as being scribbled out with spray paint. The vandals replaced “Peace” with “Her Face,” making the monument less of an honor of the servicemen killed, and more of an honor of the many servicewomen who are performing a slightly different service.

“Look, I know it’s wrong to laugh and everything, but holy Hell, that’s pretty funny,” said Jacksonville native Mark Jeffries. “I have no qualms with the military. I wouldn’t join, because I’m not a full-blown retard, but whatever makes you happy I guess. I don’t want anyone to die. But no one died here, it was just a goof. If my son did this, I’d be giving him a pat on the back. Shit, it’s been 32 years. Let it go already.”

After hearing the quotes he gave to local newspapers, police have reportedly arrested Jeffries, 38, and his son, Stuart, 13, for their possible connection to the vandalism.

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