Snapchat Is Secretly Storing Every Picture That’s Taken – And Then Selling Them On The Black Market!


VENICE, California –

A hacker who goes by the name of Mr. Kitty has reportedly stumbled across code in the Snapchat app that proves that the company is storing every single picture that is taken on the app, but what he says they are doing with it is BEYOND terrifying.

“Snapchat is secretly storing every single picture taken. Whether it is a funny picture of your dog, a picture of your dinner, a comedic video, or nude pictures you’re sending to your boyfriend, Snapchat is saving them all,” said Mr. Kitty. “After I discovered this, I accessed their servers, which are some of the largest I have ever seen. It was there I discovered that they take the pictures, and send them to individuals and companies all over the world, for a profit.”

Mr. Kitty believes that the images are worth millions of dollars, because they can lead directly to marketing opportunities to help companies sell to individuals. The other side, of course, is black market pornography.

“There is an entire world of underground porn that is made up of pictures and videos from Snapchat,” said Mr. Kitty. “If you have ever taken a picture of yourself naked with the app, chances are good that you’re being sold in the underground.”

Snapchat said that they had “no idea” what Mr. Kitty was talking about, and that the app clearly does not store any pictures.

“We have been asked this billions of times and no, we keep nothing,” said a Snapchat spokesman. “It would defeat the purpose if we did. Obviously the app was created, originally, with the intent to send nudes, but now we’re a publicly traded company. We can’t afford to screw that up just by selling pictures of your chicken dinner to the black market.”

Organ-Stealing Group Of Thieves Moving Up and Down East Coast

MIAMI, Florida – 

A gang of blackmarket organs dealers have been roaming up and down the East coast, attacking and later killing people for their organs, which can be harvest in an illegal trade for thousands, and even hundreds of thousands, of dollars.

“They’re hard to track because they aren’t local and they aren’t predictable. They target teens and mature adults, but young organs fetch the highest price,” said police chief Oliver Nunez of Miami PD. “Thing is, we have no idea who they are, but we have taken in over 65 dead bodies so far, all of which have been completely drained of blood and had their organs removed.”

Miami police say that they are working with police departments as far north as Boston and even Portland, Maine. They say that the number of actual deaths so far could be as high as 300. They are advising people to not go outside wearing skimpy clothing that could make them an easier time for being cut open.

Amazon Unveils ‘Amazon Crime’ Service, Offers Black Market Products at All-Time Low Prices

Amazon Unveils 'Amazon Crime' Service, Offers Black Market Products at All-Time Low Prices

SACRAMENTO, California – 

Amazon’s newest innovation is set to open its doors next month. Meet “Amazon Crime,” a service that provides much needed mediation for black market products and exchanges.

“The problem with the black market is that you have no security. You don’t know if you’re getting the drugs or weapons people say you are, and on the other side you don’t know if your buyer is going to pay you or shank you,” Amazon’s CEO explained in an interview. “Amazon Crime fixes that.”

Early previews of the platform are promising. Some features from Amazon’s existing marketplace will make their way into the service in the future, for example assassinations fulfilled by Amazon, free two-day shipping on human trafficking, and more.

“By providing a central, secure place for illegal activity, we hope to bring these products and services to the common middle-class family – not just impoverished people, neglected inner city children, and so forth,” an Amazon representative said in a press conference.

Many criminals have expressed their excitement for this platform, finally able to reach a global audience with their products and services.

“I feel like I’ll finally be able to start my career instead of just doing odd jobs here and there,” Trevor, a 24-year-old aspiring bank robber, shared with us.

Some of the more interesting categories expected to appear on the site include: prostitution, money laundering services, stolen government files, web attack bots, and chemicals. Amazon is also expecting to push out a new device, the Amazon Swindle, which is a combined criminal manual and pocket device to help the average user secure money from stolen credit cards.

According to the CEO, Amazon’s biggest challenge has been finding reliable suppliers. They have posted a number of job openings on their main website to recruit informants, writers, and other employees to help establish a unique but wholesome experience.

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