HUNTSVILLE, Alabama –
Alabama congressman, John L. McLawton, has praised the passing of a landmark bill that will tolerate and even encourage discrimination against homosexuals in his state. This comes as a growing proportion of the state’s citizens are joining the fight to protect the traditional identity of the region. Previously, the only victory of the movement known as People Against Oppressive Tolerance (PAOT) had been the legalization of forced conversions of Muslims and Jews.
“This is a great victory in preserving our proud history of baseless bigotry,” said PAOT chairman, Hamish Connolly. “The southern states have always served the final bastion of the US identity, and these traditions are a major part of who we are as a people.”
The bill has come as a major blow to the growing LGBT rights movement in certain Alabama cities, which has up till now been fighting for the legitimization of gay marriage. Observers will expect the organization to change their stance, regressing to the archaic battle against institutionalized intolerance.
“The situation is pretty dire,” admitted marriage equality activist Pam Newman. “I thought we were making headway, but apparently the traditionalists are still in the majority. I know we’ve been reaching a little high – I mean, going against our state’s proud history is a big ask – but I never realized how much we were offending others.”
Despite developments, polls indicate that the majority of Alabamians oppose the bill, with many committing to fight against it – or at least sign a petition. Sociologists cite the natural human instinct “not to be like their parents” as the reason.
“Young people don’t wanna act like the old folk,” said Professor John F Jacobson. “We see it all the time. There’s those who won’t discriminate against blacks, some who won’t beat up Jews, and even a few who reject the idea of intolerance altogether. It’s throwing the baby out with the bathwater in my opinion.”
Reports are now emerging that PAOT’s next fight will be to legalize the disposal of wet infants.