HOLLYWOOD, California –
Big players in Hollywood are reportedly scouring the country for true stories which they can fit to the plots of scripts they have approved for production. Hundreds of movies have been stalled in the pipeline by the lax scouting that has characterised the industry of late, leading to many movies losing that powerful inspiration that “based on a true story” movies have.
“A lot of films have lost out because we haven’t put enough effort into this,” said Paul Matfield, a director contracted to Warner Brothers Studios. “I heard that Focus, in particular, was meant to be based around real life conmen, but in the end they didn’t have time to find someone in jail or someone reformed who was charismatic enough for his Wikipedia page to fit the bill.”
According to industry insiders, plots waiting for real people include James Bond style secret agent films, tear-jerking dramas about mothers who lost a child, heroic animals who saved their human masters in extreme conditions, and sports stories about a team that won against all the odds.
“They don’t have to be exact, we just need people, groups and tragedies which have similar superficial details that your average man won’t look past. It was particularly tragic that they had no one to base Birdman on. Also, Cake could surely have found a crash victim to fit to Jennifer Aniston’s character.”
A source from one big studio, revealed that recent events will, indeed, give inspiration to many when matched with a plot.
“That Germanwings crash that just happened goes really well with a tragic drama about a suicidal pilot that we’ve had for over a decade. Israel’s Gaza war in 2014 already has many long awaited political dramas in the works. Now we’re just waiting for a major terror attack in a Western nation, that will lead directly to some sure crowd favorites and award winners.”