Man Arrested For Killing Neighbor Tells Police ‘He Had A Bigger TV’

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Man Arrested For Killing Neighbor Tells Police 'He Had A Bigger TV'

FAIRFIELD, New Hampshire – 

Envy rears its ugly head yet again as a family is briefly left in tears over the death of James Moore, 29 – father, husband, and owner of a huge TV.

Police arrested Darnell Wilson, 23, at the scene of the crime shortly after it happened. He made no attempt to resist. During questioning, he gave an honest account of what happened, verified by the victim’s family.

“Day in, day out, they’d have that TV on. I could see it through my kitchen window – part of it anyway,” he explained. “The man’s TV was at least 70 inches. What was I supposed to do? Any self-respecting man would’ve done the same.”

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In a fit of jealousy and embarrassment at his mediocre 42-inch TV, Wilson paid his neighbor a visit with a fully loaded handgun. Moore’s family, initially grief-stricken and confused, came to visit Wilson and express their sympathy. Carla, wife of the deceased, said her husband “probably would have done the same” if they had such a tiny TV. The family is pressing charges regardless, because they are Americans, after all.

While Wilson is facing a trial, police say a murder penalty is unlikely due to the circumstances. The sentence is likely to be two years maximum for aggravated embarrassment with a capitalist-conditioning plea.

“I mean, it’s not like he stole our TV,” Carla said. “I’d be okay with just getting some money out of the whole thing. James didn’t have life insurance.”

The family has since purchased heavier window curtains to avoid similar annoyances in the future.

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