MIAMI, Florida –
Kim Kardashian has made no secret of her burning desire for another child. The mother of one apparently wants a sibling for North, in order to help the firstborn through the travails of having been named after a direction. However, the socialite has hit a major obstacle, in that a new law has been passed, requiring Kardashian to get a permit to have any further children.
“There has been much talk in the past of possible permit laws for any citizen to have children, with jail time for failing to comply,” said the creator of the bill, Jim Fountain. “I mean, you need a permit to go fishing, know what I’m saying? It’s been called impractical, which I understand, but with Kim it would just be far too irresponsible to allow her to have kids without qualification.”
The text of the law listed a number of reasons for singling Kardashian out:
- Calling her daughter North West is a low point for any mother
- She’s famous for a sex tape and nothing more
- She garnered public attention by balancing a champagne glass on her naked butt
- She’s famous for a fucking sex tape!!!
- The father would likely be Kanye West – I wouldn’t trust him with a burrito, let alone a child; it’s a wonder that no one has stepped in to prevent him being around North
- Her claim to fame is a sex tape – seriously, what is the world coming to? Well, her sex tape I guess…
Kardashian herself is yet to comment, but husband Kanye released a clip on YouTube, in which he rambled about the injustice of the law.
“Kim is the greatest mother that ever lived, she’s got the greatest daddy right here, I’m a genius and that makes her genius by association. Haters are out there tryna get back at us for being so perfect.”
But he admitted that conception is unlikely in any case.
“While we fuckin, she says to me, she says ‘Imma let you finish’, and then she pulls away, and so I never get to finish. She thinks it’s funny. Seriously, woman. Maybe she shouldn’t have kids.”