WASHINGTON, D.C. – 
President Obama today signed an executive order granting citizenship to all illegal aliens if they agree to register as democrat voters. The order was expected by many in congress, although dictating voter party has many in Washington up in arms.
“I have been pushing for a path to citizenship for 6 years, but the Republican House has done nothing,” said President Obama.”If the republicans and the extreme right don’t care enough to make these people citizens, well then it’s only right to make them Democrats. Thanks to the our party blocking voter I.D. laws, illegals have been voting democrat in our elections for years already. I expect some outrage from the right, but in the end, I only have two years left in my presidency and I’m not done transforming America. You expect a lot more executive orders it the next two years, because now that the republicans are in control of both houses, I will be using my pen for two things, vetoes and executive actions.”
John Boehner (R. – Ohio) says that he thinks the President has ‘lost touch with reality.’
“Obama has no respect for the constitution, or the majority of people in this country. Insisting illegals register as democrats is the most outrageous move in the history of this country,” said Boehner. “We will fight this move through legal action, and push for impeachment proceedings if we can, but make no mistake, we will stop this President.”
The order grants illegal aliens in already in the U.S. full citizenship, as well as healthcare benefits and food assistance, and will begin registering the individuals as of January 1st.