Supreme Court Rules Men Will Have Sole Decision In Termination of Pregnancy
April 22, 2015
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a landmark ruling, supreme court Judge Joe Bornstein has stated that in instances of pregnancy, the baby's father will have the sole decision making abilities on the right to abort. "Science and studies have ...
Man Claims He Was Abducted By Aliens, Forced To Probe Them
April 22, 2015
LEXINGTON, Kentucky - Paul Young, 32, of Lexington, Kentucky, says that he was abducted by aliens sometime last month, and despite what people are always saying, the aliens had no desire to probe him anally. "To be ...
Saturday Night Live To Move To Wednesday 7PM Time Slot
April 22, 2015
NEW YORK CITY, New York - For the last 40 years, Saturday Night Live has aired their sketch comedy show on late night television, and of course, it has always been aired on Saturday nights. Now, some big ...
Dalai Lama Considering Early Reincarnation; Just Wants to be a Kid Again
April 21, 2015
TIBET - The 14th Dalai Lama has told followers that he is considering early reincarnation. His motivation, he says, is that he just wants to be a kid again. He looked back fondly on his early ...
Doctors Create Literal ‘Cure For Love’
April 21, 2015
BOSTON, Massachusetts - A team of doctors and scientists at Boston University has discovered what they say is a literal 'cure for love,' which when injected, can actually stop all feelings of love that someone may ...
Baker Creates Sweet Frosting Using His Own Diabetic Blood
April 21, 2015
RICHMOND, Virginia - A diabetic man has put his recent diagnosis to work by creating a thick, maple syrup-like condiment from his own blood. James Dyer, 46, says that he had recently been feeling very ill, ...
KFC Protested After Patrons Begin Finding Watermelon, Grape Drink on Menus
April 21, 2015
LEXINGTON, Kentucky - Restaurant chain Kentucky Fried Chicken is stirring the pot in the southern states this week, after several patrons noticed that many of their local franchises had added watermelon slices, grape drink, and corn ...
New Teen Trend Has Kids Licking Each Other’s Hair To Get High
April 21, 2015
GROVER, Mississippi - A new trend amongst teens and young adults throughout most of the midwest has emerged, and it's one of the weirdest ones yet. According to Hardline Magazine, a popular periodical for teens, kids in Mississippi ...