New NRA-Backed Bill To Place 3 Day Waiting Period on Becoming Mentally Ill
July 05, 2014
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference this weekend, a group of house Republicans led by representative Joe Wilson announced a forthcoming bill which would place a three day waiting period on becoming mentally ill. The ...
Kanye West Files Lawsuit Against His Reflection
July 04, 2014
LOS ANGELES, California - Kanye West stays in the news for his outspoken nature and, at times, outlandish behavior. However his most recent crazy behavior may have topped all others. One of the world’s most renowned rappers is filing ...
Facebook Admits to Manipulating User Profiles For Absurdist ‘Matchmaking Game’
July 04, 2014
MENLO PARK, California - The terrifying news released last week that Facebook admitted to manipulating the posts of 689,003 users in a mood-changing social experiment came as a shock to people worldwide. Further investigations into the ...
Discovery Channel Preps For ‘Shark Week,’ Insists They Will Have New Information This Year
July 04, 2014
SILVER SPRING, Maryland - For the 26th summer in a row, the Discovery Channel has begun to insist that new information has been learned about sharks, as they gear up for their annual Shark Week ...
Go Ask Allison: My Grandma Bought Me Fake Diamonds – What A B****!
July 04, 2014
Dear Allison, It was my 21st birthday a couple days ago. The ONLY thing I asked my Nana for was a pair of diamond earrings. I don’t know how I should feel because I found out ...
Pope Francis Shocks The World By Opening Vatican City To Area Homeless
July 03, 2014
VATICAN CITY, Rome - Pope Francis continued his reign of controversy last week when he officially announced in a morning mass the opening of the doors of Vatican City, including the famous Apostolic Palace, to the ...
Google Looks To Buy MySpace, Livejournal, Plans To Combine Them With Google+
July 02, 2014
MOUNTAIN VIEW, California - Google announced this morning their intentions to buy the brands and websites of MySpace and Livejournal, as well as several other smaller, mostly defunct social media sites, to add to their Google+ environment. ...
Bill Clinton Hits Talk Show Circuit to Promote New Book of White House Themed Erotica
July 02, 2014
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former President Bill Clinton hit the talk show circuit this week to promote his new book, a collection of White House themed erotica. Clinton's book tour actually parallels wife Hilary's, as she continues promoting ...