President Obama Records 10,000th Handshake

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Obama Records 10,000th Handshake

It was an exuberant day in the Obama regime as President Obama fulfilled one of his long-standing campaign promises of shaking at least 10,000 hands during his presidency.

The excited President stated, “When I tell the American people I’m going to do something, I do it. I came before you in 2008 and made this one of my campaign promises. Well today, that promise was met. However, let me say that I was not the sole recipient of this challenge. There was a lot of hard work put forth by many world leaders, constituents, and the hard-working people of America. This is a testament to the American pride. Yes, we can!”

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The President was apprised recently, and found that he was close to setting his goal. Many in the press thought that the President would hit the mark at the recent G3 conventions. German chancellor Angela Merkel and Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu were favored to be the recipient of the 10,000th handshake, but Obama came up short in the meetings. Speculation grew as to who would be number ten thousand. In a story of a true underdog, Tony Barone from Poughkeepsie, New York, recorded the victorious handshake after the President dropped in to his locally owned hardware store.

“Is this real? Me? Number 10,000? I’m just Tony from Poughkeepsie. This is an honor I will hold sacred in my heart forever. I’ve never been more proud to be an American. USA! USA!,” stated the jubilant owner and cashier.

Republicans weren’t so effusive in their praise of the President’s accomplishment, especially Speaker of the House John Boehner.

“While we recognize the President’s accomplishment, we have to say this is a little late. Six years in and he accomplishes this? Also remember that daps, fist bumps, and high fives are recently counted as a handshake. If this recording were kept under the Bush administration, President Bush would have eclipsed this mark in less than one term.”

 

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