Previously Unseen Painting By Da Vinci Found In Alley Dumpster

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Previously Unseen Painting By Da Vinci Found In Alley Dumpster

BERLIN, New Hampshire – 

A previously unseen painting that has been confirmed to be by Leonardo Da Vinci was recently found in a dumpster behind an abortion clinic in Berlin, New Hampshire. The painting, which had apparently hung in the clinic for many years, was thrown away after falling from the wall and the frame cracking in the process.

“We certainly didn’t know what it was when we threw it away,” said abortionist Dr. Rachel Cline. “If we had, we would have sold it years ago, instead of keeping it on the wall for sad, pregnant teen moms to look at while waiting for their lives to change forever.”

The painting was purchased at a garage sale by Dr. Cline in 1997, at a local home, but says she’s forgotten exactly where. She said it had hung in her clinic for the better part of 20 years before she tossed it after a large truck driving by shook it off the wall. As luck would have it though, a homeless resident of Berlin saw the painting sticking out of the dumpster, and pulled it out.

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“Before I took up my crack habit, I was a world-renowned scholar and professor of art history,” said vagrant Sonny Encher. “I saw the painting sticking out of the dumpster, and it looked so much like a Da Vinci, I had to check it out.”

Encher toook the painting to a former colleague who, along with a team of art history professors and researchers, confirmed it to be an original, long-lost painting by the world-famous artist.

“I don’t know who gets the money for this painting when it sells,” said Encher, “But I better be getting a damn cut of it. They threw it out, I saved it, and it’s worth probably $6 or $7 million. I could certainly use more crack, and that would help a lot.”

Currently, the artwork is being restored by a professional team, and is expected to be put up for sale at auction through Sotheby’s, with an expected fetch of $7+ million. No word on how the painting ended up in New Hampshire, or who owned the painting originally.

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