Iran’s Supreme Leader Not a Fan of ‘American Sniper’

Iran’s Supreme Leader Not a Fan of ‘American Sniper’

TEHRAN, Iran – 

Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has spoken out against critically acclaimed film, American Sniper, saying that he is “not a fan.” The screenplay, which portrays a real-life US soldier who killed 160 ‘enemies’, struck a nerve with the spiritual head of the Islamic country.

“The dialogue is poorly written, and some of the secondary cast is very poorly chosen,” Khamenei told TMZ. “In addition, the soundtrack does not do the visuals justice.”

Some have criticized the film for portraying Islamic people as ‘uncivilised’ and the conflict as ‘simplistic’, but the supreme leader’s criticisms have gone far beyond what he calls “possible thematic inaccuracies”, sparking a feud with director and producer, Clint Eastwood. “What bothers me most is the way the camera angles make the action look contrived, bastardized to resemble any other Hollywood action movie,” he added.

Eastwood, who reminded us that he is the man responsible for the highest-grossing war film in history, hit back at Khamenei’s comments, saying, “Who is he to judge? I’ve seen his work. [1991 Iranian drama] Mother totally sucked – yes, it wasn’t Hollywood-ised, and it was gritty and moving, but it hardly had a budget, and some of the actors were clearly amateur and didn’t even speak English!”

After half an hour of Googling the Ayatollah’s filmography, we managed to track down the movie in question, and found it to be attributed to Iranian director Ali Hatami, and not Khamenei, to whom Eastwood inaccurately credited it.

Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, publicly disagreed with the supreme leader, simply saying, “Eastwood is legendary. Don’t f*** with him.”

Studio Admits ‘American Sniper’ Is Propaganda Film; Movie Was Commissioned By U.S. Government

Studio Admits 'American Sniper' Is Propaganda Film; Commissioned By U.S. Government


HOLLYWOOD, California – 

Warner Bros. Entertainment, in an announcement that surprised no one, admitted Wednesday that their box office hit, American Sniper, was actually a poorly disguised propaganda film commissioned by the US government.

“We don’t see it as shameful to be promoting patriotism in our beloved country,” said CEO Kevin Tsujihara. “Chris Kyle is someone we can be proud of. He was a true American hero, one who was willing to give up all qualms over what is moral and good to mindlessly kill individuals his country told him were the baddies.”

Director Clint Eastwood, however, denied that he knew anything about government intervention.

“Propaganda?” he yelled. “What’s this propaganda?! To have pride in your country is propaganda?! To do what it takes to save the lives of American citizens is propaganda?! Those liberals will be the death of us all!”

According to military sources, conscription to the armed forces has rocketed since the release of the obvious glorification of American interests.

“Since the film’s release, we’ve seen a massive increase in young men and women signing up for the Navy. Millions of people, so that film is working. And it’s not just the poor and aimless who are choosing to fight any longer,” an anonymous source told news outlets. “Privileged rich boys are giving up their lives to do whatever the current authorities have deemed is necessary. It’s a pleasant break from what we’re used to.”

While President Obama, along with other Democrat leaders, has distanced himself from reports on government involvement, certain Republicans have come out in defense and praise of the film that received six Oscar nominations.

“In all my years,” said former Vice President Dick Cheney, breathing heavily. “In all my years, I’ve never heard such anti-patriotism as is coming from the liberal left. American Sniper is itself an all-American victory. What others may call propaganda, I call spreading truth. What’s next? They’ll start calling Uncle Sam propaganda, that’s what’s next!”

Filmmaker Michael Moore Goes Into Hiding After Making Negative Comments About ‘American Sniper’

FLINT, Michigan – Filmmaker Michael Moore Goes Into Hiding After Making Negative Comments About 'American Sniper'

Controversial leftist filmmaker Michael Moore has reportedly gone into hiding, after he made derogatory comments about the new film American Sniper, and about military snipers in general.

Moore tweeted from his verified account, My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren’t heroes. And invaders r worse.” Although he didn’t mention specifically that he was taking about Chris Kyle, the deadliest sniper in US military history on which the film is based, it was clear to everyone who read it who, and what, Moore was talking about.

According to sources, Chris Kyle’s father, Wayne, was extremely upset that Moore would make such hateful comments about the movie, his son, or the military. Wayne Kyle already made news himself, when he reportedly told director Clint Eastwood and star Bradley Cooper that there would be “hell to pay” if they disrespected his son’s memory.

“Wayne Kyle, like most Americans, wanted to see Kyle’s story represented in a positive light,” said a family friend. “They did an amazing job with the film, but then here comes this loud-mouthed, liberal SOB, talking shit about our boys, about our military, and about snipers? Cowards? The man is a liar, and a coward himself. He uses his one-sided, propaganda films to make people ‘think?’ Well, I tell you what I think. I think he’s a piece of shit, and he should be worried about running his mouth about the military. That could, and does, upset a lot of folks in this great country.”

According to reports, Moore tried to retract what he said, stating that he thought American Sniper was a good movie, and that he didn’t mean to disrespect anyone, but unfortunately for him, the damage had already been done.

“Mr. Moore has taken to the underground, until the storm blows over, so to speak,” said Moore’s agent, Joe “Fats” McGee. “This isn’t the first time that his mouth has gotten him into trouble in the media. We anticipate that he can make it 10, maybe 12 hours, before he’ll need to ‘come up for air,’ and probably a cheeseburger.”

No word on whether comedian Seth Rogen, who also tweeted negative comments about American Sniper, will be joining Moore in hiding.

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