Miley Cyrus Hospitalized After Violent Overdose

NASHVILLE, Tennessee – Miley Cyrus Hospitalized After Violent Overdose

Superstar singer Miley Cyrus, on a break between tour dates, has been hospitalized after an apparent overdose on what is believed to be a near fatal combination of sugar and caffeine, publicist Michelle Plasko revealed to the Associated Press this morning.

“Miley needs help, and we feel that coming forward with this information was something we needed to do in order to reach out to her fans, friends, and family,” Plasko stated. “Sure, she dabbled with recreational drugs for a couple of years, but what kid doesn’t try some pot growing up? She’s quit all that stuff, but now, she’s addicted to candy, soda, and coffee. I mean, she eats so many Sour Patch Kids each day, she’s starting to lose sensation in her tongue.”

Earlier this year, Cyrus cancelled several tour dates and made several trips to hospitals for what was mostly described as bad reactions to medications, such as antibiotics. When asked if those episodes were actually related to Cyrus’s sugar abuse, Plasko stated that “the past was the past.”

“We would like to focus on today and the future,” said Plasko. “Previous episodes may or may not have been related to the fact that she drinks 5 or 6 2-liter bottles of RC Cola every day. I can’t comment on that. What I will say is that Miley is a very young woman, and the lifestyle has really caught up to her extremely fast. We ask everyone to please be understanding as we look for way to pull her from the deep, dark hole on confections that she has put herself in.”

When asked if Cyrus is planning to continue her touring and other artistic endeavors, Cyrus’ father, Billy Ray, replied by saying the artist plans on fulfilling every commitment she has made.

“Miley will make good on every tour date that is planned,” said Billy Ray Cyrus. “Yes, she needs help for her fiendish ways, but it is more important that she gives her fans what they want, first and foremost. If she needs to bump a couple lines of Pixy-Stix to make it through a concert, then that’s what will have to happen. When all of this is over, then we can try to talk her into getting help. But for now, all that matters is her performance and living up to those standards.”


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