Shocking Photos Surface Of Miley Cyrus With Her Clothes On

 

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LOS ANGELES, California – 

After a series of business-as-usual nude photo shoots for magazines such as Plastik, as well as extremely erotic costumes during her performances and tours, a slew of shocking photos have surfaced that are making Miley Cyrus fans take to social media in a vile and violent outrage.

“I cannot believe the photos that she gets away with sometimes, but this new set of pictures that is all over the web is disgusting, and it’s sickening,” said Marc Jacobs, 24. “I am a Miley Cyrus fan from way back, and I’ve stuck with her as a fan through a lot of scandals, but I just don’t think I can deal with these new pictures of her with her clothes on.”

According to her publicist, Marsha Williams, Cyrus’ new pictures were something that were never intended to see the light of day, but were leaked by a freelance photographer.

“Miley has a very unique and very specific kind of persona, and we have worked very hard to develop that,” said Williams. “These photos of her with her clothes on were never meant to be seen. They were taken in a weak moment, and Miley had ordered them destroyed. We are extremely upset that anyone has viewed these completely safe-for-work, totally boring photos. We are currently considering taking legal action against the photographer who leaked the photos.”

According to Williams, a new series of extremely graphic photos of Miley posing nude will more than likely hit the web soon in an effort to erase the “boring photos” from the minds of anyone who has seen them.

 

Justin Bieber’s Birthday Would Go Unnoticed by You if Not for This Article

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MONTREAL, QUEBEC, Canada –

Justin Bieber’s 21st birthday fell on Sunday the 1st of March, and you would not have known it had you not read this article decrying the cult of celebrity. Why does anyone care about this mediocre singer’s celebrations? we ask, and by doing so have drawn your attention to something about which you neither knew nor cared.

The young troublemaker has been in the spotlight since the tender age of 16 – that’s five years already! – and we constantly question the reason for this, bringing further attention to events and people with no cosmic relevance. You clicked on this article out of interest in something you had not been interested in before, and now you have even more useless trivia to go with your anger at pop culture.

Why are there so many articles about Selena Gomez not being invited to Bieber’s birthday party? This question is especially good if we are aiming to give you gossip about this matter we claim to despise. This was an obvious snub to the star’s ex-girlfriend and is great for our SEO content.

Has the world gone too far in worshiping the likes of Bieber, Gomez, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift? Are you thinking about those four artist now? Good. Because Miley Cyrus especially is one that you shouldn’t be thinking about. Her rumored affair with Nicki Minaj sets a bad example for children, who know about it because we decided to share it.

What about Taylor Swift? The epitome of sweet, harmless pop stars is apparently into S&M, which is bad for her image and that of young girls around the world, particularly because we bring it up in this chock-full article.

In short, the cult of celebrity is getting out of hand. In this 300+ word article we have spoken about four individuals whose lives should mean nothing to us, and have made you think about their sometimes despicable actions, which should mean nothing to you. Shame on our society for following this modern day religion. Think about it, and remember to check in for our future updates.

Miley Cyrus Hospitalized After Violent Overdose

NASHVILLE, Tennessee – Miley Cyrus Hospitalized After Violent Overdose

Superstar singer Miley Cyrus, on a break between tour dates, has been hospitalized after an apparent overdose on what is believed to be a near fatal combination of sugar and caffeine, publicist Michelle Plasko revealed to the Associated Press this morning.

“Miley needs help, and we feel that coming forward with this information was something we needed to do in order to reach out to her fans, friends, and family,” Plasko stated. “Sure, she dabbled with recreational drugs for a couple of years, but what kid doesn’t try some pot growing up? She’s quit all that stuff, but now, she’s addicted to candy, soda, and coffee. I mean, she eats so many Sour Patch Kids each day, she’s starting to lose sensation in her tongue.”

Earlier this year, Cyrus cancelled several tour dates and made several trips to hospitals for what was mostly described as bad reactions to medications, such as antibiotics. When asked if those episodes were actually related to Cyrus’s sugar abuse, Plasko stated that “the past was the past.”

“We would like to focus on today and the future,” said Plasko. “Previous episodes may or may not have been related to the fact that she drinks 5 or 6 2-liter bottles of RC Cola every day. I can’t comment on that. What I will say is that Miley is a very young woman, and the lifestyle has really caught up to her extremely fast. We ask everyone to please be understanding as we look for way to pull her from the deep, dark hole on confections that she has put herself in.”

When asked if Cyrus is planning to continue her touring and other artistic endeavors, Cyrus’ father, Billy Ray, replied by saying the artist plans on fulfilling every commitment she has made.

“Miley will make good on every tour date that is planned,” said Billy Ray Cyrus. “Yes, she needs help for her fiendish ways, but it is more important that she gives her fans what they want, first and foremost. If she needs to bump a couple lines of Pixy-Stix to make it through a concert, then that’s what will have to happen. When all of this is over, then we can try to talk her into getting help. But for now, all that matters is her performance and living up to those standards.”

 

Exotic Dancer Sues Miley Cyrus Over Stolen Routines

SAN FRANCISCO, California – Stripper Sues Miley Cyrus for Stealing Her Act

Anastasia Rhapsody, an adult entertainer at The Kitty Kave Gentlemen’s Club, announced in a press conference today that she has filed a lawsuit against Miley Cyrus for stealing parts of her act.

The lawsuit charges Cyrus with ‘wrongful appropriation’ of creative material conceived by the stripper and used in her popular act. Rhapsody is seeking $8 million in damages, which her lawyers consider a fair amount of the profit Ms. Cyrus has made by using the allegedly stolen material.

An emotional Rhapsody, surrounded by her lawyers and representatives of the Exotic Dancer’s Union, told reporters that she has suspected for some time that Cyrus had been spying on her and stealing her material.

“That foam finger thing she did on the VMAs? That was mine. I did an almost identical act at the 49ers pre-Super Bowl party a couple of years ago, except I was twerking on one of the players and not Robin Thicke. But I let that slide, thinking it might be a coincidence, even though she even used the tongue too,” Rhapsody said, sticking out her extremely long tongue to demonstrate. “I mean, after all, foam fingers are pretty common, aren’t they?”

“I started getting real darn suspicious when she came out with that ‘Wrecking Ball’ video, though. One of my most popular acts starts with me swinging onto the stage on a big disco ball,” Rhapsody told reporters. “Not everybody swings around on a big ball, now do they?”

By then, the stripper said, she had seen Cyrus in the club several times with young homeless men who the singer was treating to a night out. “I thought she was real nice for doing that, you know?” she said. “But I confronted her the next time she came in about that video. She told me there was no way anyone could mistake her video as being anything like my act because she was wearing boots and riding a wrecking ball, while I was wearing platform shoes and riding a disco ball. Besides, she was licking a hammer and I wasn’t. “

“She was real sweet about it. And like she said, I didn’t lick no hammer in my act, so I couldn’t prove anything.”

The tearful stripper went on to say that she finally felt confident in filing the lawsuit after Cyrus appeared at a New York Fashion Week after- party a few days ago wearing pasties. “They were identical to the ones I wore the last time Miley was in the club, and my lawyers said that was enough to convince a judge. I think she might have stolen some stuff from a few of the other girls at the club too, but we just can’t prove it.”

“I thought she was a good person. I mean, she bought those poor homeless guys drinks and lap dances. She even pole danced on stage with us girls,” Anastasia said. “I guess I was wrong.”

Cyrus has not yet commented on the accusations.

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