Revealed: Pepsi Actually Produced by Coca-Cola to Make Themselves ‘Look Good’

Revealed: Pepsi Actually Produced by Coca Cola to Make Themselves 'Look Good'

ATLANTA, Georgia – 

Shocking news emerging from the refreshment industry. Coca Cola has revealed that Pepsi is their own “reinvention,” brought from obscurity in order to make their product look better in comparison. According to Coca Cola Company CEO, Muhtar Kent, the venture was meant to be a short-lived marketing ploy, but surprised executives and investors alike when it gained popularity among portions of the population.

“We created a cheap imitation of our most popular product and used the existing PepsiCo which we had bought as its vehicle,” Kent told a press conference. “It was specifically designed to be palatable, but not nearly as tasty – the sort of drink you only buy because it’s cheaper. But we kept prices relatively equal and, although it succeeded at creating further brand loyalty among our customers, Pepsi gathered its own following. So we kept and expanded it.”

The revelation was made after rumors began circling that Coca Cola was unfairly treating Pepsi, and had stolen recipes along with some of their best inventors. The rumors were false, but had cast a shadow over the integrity of the company. They felt they needed to put them to rest, and end decades long speculation of Coca Cola being the industry bully.

“It’s unfortunate that the facade had to end, because a lot of people rely on both Coca Cola and Pepsi to fulfil that need for beverage preference competition,” Kent continued. “But investors were worried that the inferior product might become more popular by virtue of the bad reputation we were getting, and we didn’t want to be second best to what amounts to liquidized crap.”

Analyst Robbie Martin says that, although the secret is out, brand loyalty will still remain.

“People need to fight about everything. Why compete over soda anyway? It’s not like you made it. So people will still defend the Pepsi brand, even though Coca Cola makes it taste like piss.”

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