BOSTON, Massachusetts –
Your grandparents were right after all: Being gay is apparently extremely contagious. The same Harvard Medical team that proved obesity and smoking can spread socially have released a new study that suggests being gay is equally spreadable.
Psychologist, Jean Bennett says, “It’s what people have been saying for years. Happiness is infectious. Mirror neurons are activated when we see other’s doing something. If they’re smiling, it’s likely we will smile back.”
Bennett warns, “It’s important to surround yourself with positive, happy people, and limit the time with Negative Nancies. Everyone wants to be gay, right? Your best bet it is surround yourself with gay people. Trust me, it will rub off.”
Gay rights activists deny these allegations, and say even if it were true, there is nothing wrong with being gay. Offended homosexual, Bert, told Empire News, “The world would be a better place if gayness was contagious. Think of the parties we’d have! Oh my God, it would be fabulous, I can’t even imagine. Sadly, this is complete and utter bologna though.”