Will Ferrell Apologizes For Making So Many Unwatchable Movies

Will Ferrell Apologizes For Making So Many Unwatchable Movies

HOLLYWOOD, California – 

Comedian Will Ferrell, best known for making completely horrendous comedies that, somehow, do ridiculous box office numbers, recently apologized publicly for his string of just straight unwatchable films.

“I know that I’ve yet to make a really great, unforgettable movie, and I’m sorry for that,” said Ferrell to the Hollywood Outsider Magazine. “It’s hard pretending to be funny all the time. I constantly have to surround myself with great comedy writers and an amazing supporting cast. I want people to leave one of my worthless movies and think it was hilarious. I’m trying, but I know I’m failing hard. I wish I could do more, but so far, it’s just been mediocre luck.”

Ferrell’s most recent movie, Get Hard, co-starring comedian Kevin Hart, has been ripped apart by critics for being racist, homophobic, and worst of all, totally unfunny.

“It’s hard to make a really great movie when you’re just showing up and obviously phoning it in,” said film reviewer Mark Lipson of FilmOnFire.gov. “Ferrell says he tries so hard for the laughs, but you wouldn’t know it watching him, as every movie he just plays dumb schlock after dumb schlock, and you feel no pity for him whatsoever. I was hoping he’d end up in prison during Get Hard, so at least the movie might just end.”

Ferrell says that he plans to try and make more “good” movies, with actual acting and stories, which he says he’s come close to doing previously with movies like Everything Must Go and Stranger Than Fiction. 

“I made a couple black comedies, dramas,” said Ferrell. “They were box office bombs, but at least I could stretch my acting legs a bit, and show off that I could do more than play an unlikeable moron. I hope to do more good movies down the road.”

Ferrell says that he also plans to be nicer to fans, and perhaps become more friendly when they approach him for pictures or signatures. According to Autograph Magazine, which ranks celebrities on their level of approachability for fans and autograph seekers, Ferrell consistently ranks on their “worst” list, despite being someone that most fans seem to think would be nice because of his doltish roles.

He mocks people, taunts and embarrasses them when they ask for autographs,” says Autograph Magazine. 

“Yeah, I guess I should try and care about fans a bit more, too,” said Ferrell. “After all, they’re the ones who for some reason keep paying money to see my movies. They’re the ones who’ve afforded me a nice house and a driveway full of Prisuses. I am sorry for not living up to the fans’ expectations on any level.”


Will Ferrell Proves That Hollywood Walk of Fame Not Just for Good Actors

Will Ferrell Proves That Hollywood Walk of Fame Not Just for Good Actors

HOLLYWOOD, California – 

Will Ferrell last week proved that the Hollywood Walk of Fame is not reserved for “only the best” actors. The famous walkway has received criticism in the past, facing accusations of being elitist, and only serving the talented minority. But the not-all-that-funnyman’s reception of a star among many really good actors, is evidence that the Walk is becoming more liberal and inclusive.

“This has been a long time in coming,” said activist Amy London. “For decades mediocre actors have been ignored in the awards. Ferrell is a perfect example. For years he’s served Hollywood in playing bit parts in good comedies, and taking center stage in bad ones, and has never received the recognition he deserves. Well now he’s being rightfully acknowledged.”

Ferrell himself admitted that he never expected to be inducted into the exclusive group of honorees on the Walk of Fame. However, he acknowledged that there is a basis for discrimination, and that he does not want his example to become political.

“Look, not everyone can have a star,” he told reporters. “It’s like when you’re a kid, and you win a competition but everyone gets medals for participation. It spoils the whole idea. There should be a more fair way of deciding who gets a star – like massive wrestling matches, where the last man – or woman – standing takes it.”

Some have shown skepticism about the motives behind Ferrell’s inclusion, saying that the award was only given to him to pander to critics.

“It’s not about equality, at all,” said neighborhood grouch Peter Poulsen. “They just want to act all progressive and forward-thinking. They think that by giving one bad actor an award, they can forget about them for the next three decades? We’ll make sure they don’t.”

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