CLEVELAND, Ohio –
Jenicka Jones says she has eaten nothing but Black, or ‘Halloween Whoppers’ for the last two months and ended up losing 25 pounds. “My theory is there is something in that dye. It makes your poop blue, but it also makes the calories slide on through without hurting you.”
Burger King launched its Black Whopper for Halloween, but it has since been discontinued. When Jones noticed the weight loss she made sure to stock up. “I bought a special freezer for Black Whoppers, filled it all up with them. It’s so convenient. Just pop it in the microwave and I’m good to go.”
Jones says she hopes to be the new “Subway Jerod,” without all the sexual deviancy. “Plus, I’m cheap. All I want is free fast food for life. Maybe they could dye all their buns black. Make a whole line of Jancika’s Weight Loss Sandwiches or something.”
So far, Burger King has not responded to Jones’ request for a year-round Black Whopper.
CHARLESTON, South Carolina –
Burger King has announced this morning that, thanks in large part to the incredible response to their ‘Halloween Whopper,’ they would be releasing a follow-up speciality burger in the form of their new Thanksgiving Whopper.
The burger, which is said to be the traditional burger, but featuring toppings including turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and french fried onions, is set to go on sale in select markets next week, and will officially launch November 10th.
“We are really, really excited for people to try this new Thanksgiving Whopper,” said Burger King CEO Chris Murphy. “The Halloween Whopper was a hauntingly good idea, and it was a smashing success. We hope that the Thanksgiving Whopper gains equal traction and that consumers love it.”
Murphy says that if the burger does well, they may consider continuing with specialty burgers each holiday, including a Christmas Whopper, a New Year’s Eve Whopper, and a Civil Rights Day Whopper, among others.
There is currently no word on what color your poop will be after eating the Thanksgiving Whopper.