Kentucky Basketball Coach John Calipari To Step Down After Season, Admits To Meeting With NBA Teams

Kentucky Basketball Coach John Calipari To Step Down After Season, Admits To Meeting With NBA Teams

LEXINGTON, Kentucky –

Head basketball coach of the University of Kentucky John Calipari announced earlier this evening that this will indeed be his last season as the teams coach.

The 55-year-old head coach, who coaches the #1 ranked team in the nation, said that he is tired of trying to live up to the expectations of basketball fans in the state of Kentucky. “Ya know what? I am just sick and tired of winning all the time and it not being enough for our fans. Here in Kentucky it is win or bust. Meaning that if we don’t win it all this season, I have failed. I’m sick of it.” Calipari said.

When asked about the possibility of coaching in the NBA next season, Calipari did admit to meeting with a couple of teams. “Look, Yes I have met with a few NBA teams who are interested in having me coach their teams, but nothing is set in stone. I may take a year off all together and take time enjoying watching the game, something I have never done.”

While the winning coach has been at Kentucky, at the end of each season rumors have come to the surface as he has been a hot commodity in the coaching ranks. He has turned down several offers from NBA teams, something he now regrets.

“It has been great here, but like I said, the fans are a pain in the ass. I should have moved on last year while I had the chance. This won’t be the end of me though, you’ll see me coaching again, if not next season, then the season after that.

University of Kentucky Suspends Women’s Sports, Football Program Starting 2015

LEXINGTON, Kentucky –¬†University of Kentucky Athletic Director Says Women's Sports, Football Program Will Be Suspended Indefinitely Starting 2015

University of Kentucky Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart announced in a press conference just hours ago that the University will suspend funding for its football program and all women’s sports for the 2015-2016 season.

The struggling football program has not won an SEC conference championship since 1976, and even then they tied with Georgia making them c0-champions. “We are just not relevant in football in the SEC, moving to a different conference is out of the question. This is basketball country, and for that, we need all the money we can get our hands on,” Barnhart said earlier today. “Operating these sports, paying for the scholarships, feeding the student athletes, making travel arrangements – it all costs us more money than we bring in. This is not a decision we have made lightly, but it has been decided the money, time, and effort would be more suitably spent funding men’s basketball and building a new basketball arena.”

U of K officials had become infuriated with the state’s lack of help in funding development for a new basketball arena. After the state chipped in and helped their long time rival, the University of Louisville, build one of the countries most up-to-date, state of the art basketball arenas, The KFC YUM! Center in downtown Louisville, they figured it was their time. They waited and waited, but the help never came.

“This is a basketball state, and the University of Kentucky is the premier basketball program in all of basketball, yet the state helps our in-state rival instead of us… it’s like a punch in the face. Therefore we have been forced to discontinue nearly all other sport programs,” Barnhart said.

When asked how long the suspension of the programs will go on, Barnhart said that they intend to re-instate some of the programs for the 2016-2017 seasons but definitely no earlier than that. “If everything goes as planned, we will gather all the resources we need to fund a new arena and take care of our men’s basketball team and their families during that year. And then hopefully we can start bringing the suspended programs back into business.”

Kentucky fans do not seem too distraught by the shocking decision. Edgar Williams of Shepherdsville, Kentucky, who refers to himself as a ‘lifelong U of K fan’ said he was glad they were ditching the girls.

“Hell I don’t give a damn about those other sports anyways. We can’t play football to save our damn lives, and nobody gives a damn about girls sports, I mean who goes to watch a bunch of girls play games? Perverts that’s who. Fine by me. This is basketball country,” Williams said.

The University of Kentucky is well-known for its colorful, wild, and wacky basketball fans. In a recent survey taken by a national media outlet, they were ranked the 2nd most obnoxious fans in the country.

Basketball coach John Calipari was asked about the decision to suspend funding for other sports, and he said he didn’t like it but his team needs to be taken care of. “It’s a cruel world, my kids play their hearts out, they deserve to play in a state of the art arena like the one in Louisville. We are tired of being looked at as the inferior program in the state while we are actually the best basketball program in history. So what, that other¬†Kentucky school is good in all sports. This is a basketball state, don’t they know that?” Calipari said with a quirky smile.

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