Wal-Mart Plans To Layoff Thousands of Employees If Federal Minimum Wage Is Raised

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas – Wal-Mart To Layoff Thousands of Employees If Federal Minimum Wage Is Raised

Expect even longer lines at Wal-Mart this holiday season if the federal minimum wage is raised, as Wal-Mart executives say they plan to lay off thousands of workers if the bill finally makes it through congress.

Douglas McMillion says, “It’s the only way we will be able to keep our costs low, while keeping the Walton family in the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to. They are in the midst of building a new addition to the family bunker. They need to be prepared to fend off the welfare horde when the inevitable economic collapse happens, and government aid dries up. In fact, everyone should be preparing for this. We have great deals on bottled water and ammo, and you’d be wise to take advantage of these low, low prices while you can.”

Recently workers have organized strikes, demanding fifteen dollars an hour. Store manager, April Ranger says, “It’s ridiculous. Wal-Mart pays a livable wage, and most of the staff is barely worth the $7.25 we give them anyway. Plus they get a 10% discount on everything they could possibly need for their families, and we give them just enough hours so that they can still receive hundreds of dollars in state aid.”

While many claim, they will stop going to Wal-Mart in support of the workers, that is easier said than done. Economist Bill Mason says, “Wal-Mart killed all competition, and now that the Main Street USA is dead, you have no choice but to spend your measly earnings at Wal-Mart. If minimum wage goes up, either costs go up, or companies downsize to compensate for having to spend more on unskilled labor. You think CEOs and shareholders will take the hit?”

Daughter of Sam Walton, Alice Walton also remarked, “Fifteen dollars an hour? Do we really need to pay cashiers more than public school teachers? This is a job anyone can get and anyone can do. It’s really too bad we can’t outsource it to India. Those people would kiss my high heels and call me Buddha for $7.25 an hour.”


Wal-Mart Laying Off Cashiers; Customers Must Use Self-Checkout Or Pay Fee

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas – Wal-Mart Laying Off Cashiers; Customers Must Use Self-Checkout Or Pay Fee

A Wal-Mart spokesperson has announced that the chain will be doing away with the majority of their cashiers and front-end staff in an attempt to further automate the check-out process. Shoppers will still be able to use an employee-manned register, but will be charged a ten percent convenience fee for doing so.

“We have gotten a lot of bad press recently about the wages we pay our employees. In light of this, we have decided to automate more of the functions in our Supercenters, which will alleviate some of the positions that are receiving this ‘insufficient pay’ that you’ve been reading about,” said Bill Harley, a representative for Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

In total, Wal-Mart plans to lay off ninety percent of their cashier workforce. Most Supercenters are already equipped with self-checkout technology, and the plan is to double the number of machines they already have and almost totally eliminate the human element from their stores.

While the company feels that the move is both inevitable and a great way to cut payroll and insurance expenses, employees see it differently. Mary Ann Waltrip, a Wal-Mart employee of five years, is very angry about the announcement.

“This company would be nothing without their employees. We built this thing. It was our labor, our dedication, that made it possible for a little chain from Arkansas to grow into this giant. This is how they repay us? They cut us off like a tumor at the first opportunity? They cannibalized us. They used us for our backs and our livelihood, and now they are casting us aside.”

Employees aren’t the only ones feeling alienated by the shift in policy. Customers are agitated by the prospect of choosing between a machine that doesn’t have the best record of user-friendliness, or paying a fee to use a service that used to be free. Jim Bob Devereaux, a longtime Wal-Mart shopper, says he is considering a switch.

“Hell, I figure we pay for the cashiers when we buy their products. I ain’t using no damn computer to buy my goods. Next thing you know, they’ll be tracking my purchases and telling the government about how many boxes of bullets I bought this month. That’s none of their damn business. If Wal-Mart wants to treat customers and employees like we aren’t important, I’ll buy my bullets somewhere else.”

Wal-Mart has fielded some of the criticism for the new direction they are heading.

“When we employed all these people, all they did was complain about their jobs. Now that they are out of work, they vilify us for letting them go. When you are as big as we are as a company, there will be criticism no matter which course you take; so in this case, we are taking the course that will save us millions of dollars. If our former employees had valued their jobs, they could have kept them by not exposing us to so much bad publicity. You can’t bite the hand that feeds and expect to keep eating.”

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