Woman Claims She Makes Thousands Of Dollars Running Dog Breastfeeding Business

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DELUTH, Mississippi – 

A Mississippi woman says that she makes thousands of dollars each year running a business of breastfeeding dogs, reports the Mississippi Times. Maryanne Chambers started her business 10 years ago after discovering that her breast milk supply never seemed to run out.

“I breastfed my children until they were out of diapers, but then I noticed I still had tons of milk to give,” said Chambers, 34. “So, I decided to put it to good use.”

Many dog owners say that human breast milk is the most nutritious thing for their pets to drink, but it is often very hard to come by.

“Oh boy, my pug Lucyfur, she loves breast milk,” said a dog owner who wishes to remain anonymous. “I started paying Maryanne about 2 years ago. Sometimes, my Lucky, she goes over to Maryanne’s house and suckles straight from the source, but usually I just buy bottled milk.”

Chambers says that she usually charges around $40 a bottle for her breast milk, but that so many clients need multiple bottles, she regularly earns a near six-figure income.

“Last year I cleared $97,000 after taxes,” said Chambers. “If you’ve got tit milk a-brewing, then you better get those dogs over to your place. You won’t regret it.”

Woman Gives Birth, Confuses Doctors By Asking For Maternity Test

BILOXI, Mississippi – http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1301903/thumbs/r-174342530-large570.jpg?6

A Biloxi woman gave birth to a baby boy late Friday evening, and confused doctors by immediately asking for a maternity test. Sarah Keller, 26, said that she didn’t believe that she was the mother of the baby, and wanted a maternity test to prove that she wasn’t.

“My boyfriend and I always use condoms, or he pulls out. There’s no way that I’m the mother.” said Keller. “I thought that Joe had been cheating on me, and now I can get all the proof I need.”

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Keller said that her boyfriend, Joe Camden, also 26, and her had been together for 4 years and had never even had a pregnancy scare before she found out she was pregnant last November. When she got the news, Keller said she became  enraged, and told Camden that she knew he had been sleeping around.

“I don’t know why she thinks I’ve been cheatin’.” Said Camden. “I’ve been as faithful to her as eggs are to chickens.”

Through an odd series of events, testing done by the hospital actually showed that Camden was not the father of the baby. When the hospital told her the news, Keller seemed confused.

“That’s not possible. He’s definitely the father.” Said Keller. “I screwed around with a few guys when Joe and I was on a little ‘break’ we took last year. But them guys weren’t my boyfriends, so they couldn’t have gotten me pregnant.”

Doctors calmly explained to Keller how reproduction worked, and that it was impossible that she wasn’t the mother. They then immediately contacted the Mississippi State Child Welfare Department. They also reached out to eight men who Keller reluctantly named as the ones she had been with while temporarily separated from Camden. They hope to discover true paternity in the next few weeks.

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