Funnyman and film writer Seth Rogen has teamed up again with actor James Franco to make a comedy film that is pretty topical in the present day. The movie, “The Interview,” pits Franco and Rogen as journalists who have one mission: to assassinate Kim Jung Un. Unfortunately, Kim Jong-un is not taking the situation lightly.
“This movie is obviously satire.” Rogen states, laughing hysterically. “But Kim, he wants to literally attack the country if we release it. He wants us dead. The fact that this crazy dude believes that we want to kill him is absolutely hilarious, and just proves how off his rocker this dude is.”
Franco was less surprised by Jong-un’s reaction.
“Yo, this dude runs a country where every man has to have the same haircut as he does.” Said Franco. “He runs a country where there is a housing unit that has over five hundred houses in it, fully powered and livable, and it sits completely empty, just so that from the sky and the nearby roads the city looks nice, not like a third world [expletive]-hole. Who better to be rid of on this planet but this guy? I mean, I’m just an actor, author, director, producer, artist, and model – I am not qualified to do it for real. But in a movie, who better to assassinate a world leader than me and Seth?”
North Korean leaders have seen the trailer for this film, and are not impressed. Representatives for Kim Jong-un are reportedly so angered, they have called the movie “an act of war.” According to government officials, US drones have picked up images of North Korea readying missiles, in anticipation of the studio not permanently shelving the film.
“These weapons of mass destruction could devastate California, you know, if they can reach it this time.” Says secretary of defense Chuck Hagel. “In all seriousness, yes – we’re talking war here. but I can assure all fans of Rogen and Franco’s films that the US government has no plans of forcing Columbia or Sony Pictures to not release this film. It looks quite hilarious actually. We’ll deal with the repercussions later, like we always do.”
Rogen, who was too high to really understand the threat, said he isn’t concerned about real retaliation.
“I mean honestly, how serious is Kim, anyway? Those South Park guys, they made Team America which mocked the hell out of North Korea, and the world didn’t end then, did it?” Rogen said. “At most, they’re just going to ban the movie in North Korea, and who cares? We don’t exactly make bank there anyway.”
The US Defense department has said that there is no reason to worry, and more than likely North Korea is just engaging in a metaphorical “dick-wagging” contest.
“Their missiles are garbage anyway.” Said Hagel. “If they want to start a war over a movie, we’ll wipe them off the map. They might have some pretty big guns, but our guns are bigger. USA! USA!”