LOS ANGELES, California –
Comments written by fans on YouTube have stirred up an unlikely feud between singer-songwriter Sam Smith and heavy metal band Pantera. The conflict started when commenter biebersuckscock wrote in the comments of Stay With Me, “all u ppl who lik dis shit dont no wat reel music is pantera kills sam smith!!!1”
Smith fan manginamonologue responded on Pantera’s classic Revolution is my Name, “Do you term this racket music? I call it unidentifiable, expletive-laden filth, that holds no status among momentous artists of Sam’s ilk.”
Fans of both artists then entered unrelentingly into the online furor, eventually leading to Sam Smith himself speaking out.
“Pantera can suck my dick!” shouted Smith, under layers of black make-up at a recent concert. “Who gives a f*** about them anymore? They’s nobodies. All hail the devil of the music underground, Sam Smith!”
Pantera uploaded a video in response, including all three remaining members of the now defunct band standing solemnly with their arms around each other.
“We’re all quite devastated with Sam’s unfair attack on us,” drummer Vinnie Paul says in the understated recording. “We’ve all been fans of his since he was still an amateur singing on YouTube, and we’ve even been experimenting as a Sam Smith cover band – we need to make money somehow.”
Lead vocalist Phil Anselmo then states, “All we want is an apology. This fighting has hurt us to the core, and we are sure it is just a misunderstanding. We know that Sammy is mature enough to acknowledge the unintended pain caused by his actions, and we can all put this behind us.”
Smith has been quoted, unofficially, as saying, “Oh my God, they’re such pussies. ‘Ooooh, we’re so sad, he hurt our feeeelings.’ They must just wash the sand out of their vaginas and go back to jacking each other off in parking lots.”