MIAMI, Florida –
CBS has announced that it is bringing back the popular 90s series, Kids Say the Darndest Things, which will portray children accusing host Bill Cosby of rape. The network explained that the charges of sexual assault which have brought Cosby back into the limelight, have increased demand of a return to the nostalgic favorite.
“During the three seasons of Kids, we got to hear the craziest and cutest things being said,” CBS executive Kevin Heller stated at a press conference. “I still laugh at that iconic line, ‘Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it.’ And I think it will be rivalled by an eight year old girl who says in the new season, ‘You hurt me when you did that thing to my privates.’”
Not everyone has received the news positively. Critics from RogerEbert.com have called the development nothing more than a publicity stunt.
“Yes, we all want to see Kids Say the Darndest Things return to our screens,” one wrote. “But the circumstances under which it’s been developed. Bill has found fame again with those rape charges, and now he wants to advance it by bringing children into the picture too. It’s shameless, the way a former great is now desperate for ratings.”
The director for the new season, Steven Howard, dismissed those claims, saying that the show will “speak for itself”.
“It’s set to be the series of the year. There are just such great conversations that have been recorded so far. Here’s a sneak preview, quoted verbatim from the first episode.”
Cosby: Hi Greta. How old are you?
Greta: I was five when you stole my virginity.
Cosby: Hehehe, that’s so darn cute. And what is your favorite thing in the world?
Greta: There is no joy in my life any more.
Cosby: And why would you say that, young girl?
Greta: It’s because you raped me, tainting my childhood and ruining my future sex life.
Cosby: Hehehe, this five year old girl says the darndest things!