Bill Cosby Brings Up Rape Allegations In Interview Because No One Was Talking About Him Anymore

Bill Cosby Brings Up Rape Allegations In Interview Because No One Was Talking About Him Anymore

NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

In 2014, Bill Cosby carried out what seemed to be one of the worst PR decisions in history. In the midst of rape allegations, his publicity team released a web app that gave users the capability to create memes of the iconic actor, with almost no effort. Of course, almost every meme centered on the charges of sexual misconduct. Over recent months, it’s become clear that the maneuver was not a mishap.

“Every interview we’ve had, he’s brought up the rape charges,” said Tonight Show host, Jimmy Fallon. “And there’ve been lots. I tried to draw him out on other topics, like the glory days of The Cosby Show, and Kids Say the Darndest Things. But all he wants to do is speak about all the women accusing him of heinous sex crimes. Clearly he sees that as his biggest publicity opportunity.”

Other TV personalities have confirmed Fallon’s assessment. The Late Show host, David Letterman, revealed that Cosby has been contacting his secretary, asking to be interviewed in response to the charges.

“He’s called six or seven times,” Fallon told us. “Every time it’s the same. He’s in the limelight again, because of these charges, and he thinks we should interview him. Initially, I agreed, but he said he was all booked up for the next few months. I told him I was retiring and he’d have to contact Stephen [Colbert], but he doesn’t seem to get it. He thinks I’m just going to wait for him, to deal with what he calls ‘sensational’ accusations.”

Cosby’s former publicist, Joan Tarshis, who herself has accused the comic of rape, says that bringing up dirt on himself is an old tactic of Cosby.

“He made me leak the story of his daughter’s drug addiction, just for the extra press. Seriously. That’s almost as low as he went with me. He’s a horrible human being. It almost makes me forget about the time he ate cake. Those times were awesome.”

New Series of ‘Kids Say the Darndest Things’ to Portray Children Accusing Bill Cosby of Rape

New Series of 'Kids Say the Darndest Things' to Portray Children Accusing Bill Cosby of Rape

MIAMI, Florida –

CBS has announced that it is bringing back the popular 90s series, Kids Say the Darndest Things, which will portray children accusing host Bill Cosby of rape. The network explained that the charges of sexual assault which have brought Cosby back into the limelight, have increased demand of a return to the nostalgic favorite.

“During the three seasons of Kids, we got to hear the craziest and cutest things being said,” CBS executive Kevin Heller stated at a press conference. “I still laugh at that iconic line, ‘Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it.’ And I think it will be rivalled by an eight year old girl who says in the new season, ‘You hurt me when you did that thing to my privates.’”

Not everyone has received the news positively. Critics from have called the development nothing more than a publicity stunt.

“Yes, we all want to see Kids Say the Darndest Things return to our screens,” one wrote. “But the circumstances under which it’s been developed. Bill has found fame again with those rape charges, and now he wants to advance it by bringing children into the picture too. It’s shameless, the way a former great is now desperate for ratings.”

The director for the new season, Steven Howard, dismissed those claims, saying that the show will “speak for itself”.

“It’s set to be the series of the year. There are just such great conversations that have been recorded so far. Here’s a sneak preview, quoted verbatim from the first episode.”


Cosby: Hi Greta. How old are you?

Greta: I was five when you stole my virginity.

Cosby: Hehehe, that’s so darn cute. And what is your favorite thing in the world?

Greta: There is no joy in my life any more.

Cosby: And why would you say that, young girl?

Greta: It’s because you raped me, tainting my childhood and ruining my future sex life.

Cosby: Hehehe, this five year old girl says the darndest things!

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