Bill Cosby Brings Up Rape Allegations In Interview Because No One Was Talking About Him Anymore

Bill Cosby Brings Up Rape Allegations In Interview Because No One Was Talking About Him Anymore

NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

In 2014, Bill Cosby carried out what seemed to be one of the worst PR decisions in history. In the midst of rape allegations, his publicity team released a web app that gave users the capability to create memes of the iconic actor, with almost no effort. Of course, almost every meme centered on the charges of sexual misconduct. Over recent months, it’s become clear that the maneuver was not a mishap.

“Every interview we’ve had, he’s brought up the rape charges,” said Tonight Show host, Jimmy Fallon. “And there’ve been lots. I tried to draw him out on other topics, like the glory days of The Cosby Show, and Kids Say the Darndest Things. But all he wants to do is speak about all the women accusing him of heinous sex crimes. Clearly he sees that as his biggest publicity opportunity.”

Other TV personalities have confirmed Fallon’s assessment. The Late Show host, David Letterman, revealed that Cosby has been contacting his secretary, asking to be interviewed in response to the charges.

“He’s called six or seven times,” Fallon told us. “Every time it’s the same. He’s in the limelight again, because of these charges, and he thinks we should interview him. Initially, I agreed, but he said he was all booked up for the next few months. I told him I was retiring and he’d have to contact Stephen [Colbert], but he doesn’t seem to get it. He thinks I’m just going to wait for him, to deal with what he calls ‘sensational’ accusations.”

Cosby’s former publicist, Joan Tarshis, who herself has accused the comic of rape, says that bringing up dirt on himself is an old tactic of Cosby.

“He made me leak the story of his daughter’s drug addiction, just for the extra press. Seriously. That’s almost as low as he went with me. He’s a horrible human being. It almost makes me forget about the time he ate cake. Those times were awesome.”

Betty White Reveals Shocking Secret About Encounter With Bill Cosby

BEVERLY HILLS, California – Betty White Reveals Shocking Secret About Encounter With Bill Cosby

Adored and cherished by people of all walks of life and ages, actress and funny-woman Betty White recently revealed a troubling and long time secret regarding comedian Bill Cosby.

Yesterday afternoon while on a telephone interview with  journalist Gerald Duke of Entertainment Hollywood Monthly, White dropped a bombshell when asked about Cosby’s recent negative media attention.

“Oh it’s dreadful, truly dreadful.” White revealed. “I’ve known Bill for ages, and the fact that he’s being so hounded lately, it’s really sad. I’ve known about his secret for years, as it was something that he confided in me years ago after a night spent together taping an episode of Mary Tyler Moore. I honestly thought it was a secret that would never come out, and he would take it to his grave.”

When pressed for more information about what Cosby had told her about his sexual assaults, White was taken aback, and seemed very confused.

“Wait – what? I don’t know what you mean, sexual assaults. Bill raped someone? Who? What are we talking about, here?” questioned White when the topic was brought up. It was explained to her that Cosby had recently come under serious media fire after several women, including prominent actresses and models, had come forward saying he had assaulted them.

“Oh Gosh, I don’t know anything about that. I was talking about how the time he confided in me that he never actually liked Jello Pudding Pops, and that he only did the commercials because they paid him so much,” said White. “Secretly, he was secretly a Popsicle-brand lover. I can’t believe that Bill is a sexual deviant, though. That’s such a shame.”

The legacy shredding accusations of the past couple months from hoards of women, and at least one man, claiming Cosby forced himself on them sexually, still has Americans in utter shock. Cosby has had speaking and comedy engagements cancelled, a new series indefinitely postponed, and Netflix cancelled a new stand-up special that they had planned to promote for a Thanksgiving release.

“I know now there are many people coming forward now who, sadly, didn’t get to know the Bill Cosby that I know,” said White. “The Popsicle lover. The comedian. The man behind the sweaters, so to speak. Such a shame that he’d risk everything just to get his rocks off. I guess he must not like blondes, though, because the man never once came onto me.”


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