‘Roseanne’ Latest Show To Get Reboot On Netflix, Show To Be ‘Just As Trashy’ As Ever

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LOS ANGELES, California – 

Despite horrendous reviews, Fuller House has been a monster hit this week for Netflix. So much so that the streaming service has announced that they have made a deal with everyone’s favorite trashy comedian, Roseanne Barr, to re-launch her extremely successful sitcom.

“We are extremely happy that Roseanne will be returning to television, and the best thing is, it will be on our service, so it can be even raunchier and trashier than it was in the 80s and 90s,” said Netflix CEO Bill Hastings. “Roseanne is equally excited to bring back most of the cast of the original show, and catch everyone up on where the Connors have been these years.”

The show will take place in the present day, with Roseanne having her two daughters move back into the house where they all grew up, now complete with families of their own.

“It’s great, because the more people in the house, the trashier it will be,” said Roseanne. “We left the series on a really high note, but with a really heavy, down theme. At the time, it’s what I wanted. Now, though, I want to bring the light back. There’s some stuff I would have done differently, but in the end, this show will be so fucking great.”

Betty White To Star In ‘Golden Girls’ Reboot on CBS

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MIAMI, Florida –

Everyone’s favorite TV queen, Betty White, has reportedly signed on to star in a reboot of the classic 80s sitcom The Golden Girls, which ran for 7 seasons and also originally starred Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, and Rue McClanahan.

“I am so extremely excited to go back to work on what I think was my crowning achievement as an actress,” said White. “I only wish that the other girls could be here to take part. They tell me that the scripts are coming along, and that they’re going to be so dark and gritty. It’s going to be a fun change!”

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The reboot is still being cast, but will reportedly will take place in the same home in Miami, with White reprising her role as Rose.

“Rose was one of the most loveable characters on TV, and Golden is one of of, if not the best, written sitcoms in television history,” said CBS executive Merle Rogers. “We are extremely excited to work with Betty again, and to begin a whole new series of ‘being a friend.'”

No air date or shoot schedule has been set for the series, but Rogers did say that it’s not “entirely out of the question” to make the show grittier and more updated.

“People like their shows dark now. Back in the day, we had, for example, the comedic Batman TV series. Now we have The Dark Knight. It’s the same with TV,” said Rogers. “It’s all Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Mad Men. Moody, dark shows. That’s what people want, so that’s what we’ll give them with this Golden Girls reboot.”

NBC Confirms ‘Seinfeld’ Coming Back To Television, Entire Cast Signs 3 Year Deal

NBC Confirms ‘Seinfeld’ Coming Back To Television, Entire Cast Signs 3 Year Deal

HOLLYWOOD, California –

Time to rejoice America, Seinfeld is officially coming back to TV in the fall of 2015. Negotiations have been going on behind closed doors for months, and NBC refused to greenlight the project until the entire cast signed on, with Jerry himself being the last holdout.

“I was under a lot of pressure from the guys to sign on,” said the show’s star, Jerry Seinfeld. ”I was pretty happy being semi-retired and stupidly wealthy, but Julia, Michael, and Jason, man, they really needed the money and wanted to be on top again. So I guess I’ll come back and star cashing those million-dollar-per-episode checks again. Larry David will produce us once more, and the show will still be about nothing, just nothing set years later. It’s going to be the same exact set, it’s going to be like we never left. The first episode will be about auto-correct and text messages, should be a lot of fun.”

“Kramer’s back baby!” said Michael Richards. ”Thank God Jerry agreed to do it. The best thing is all of us being back together again. We were all part of something special years ago and we never stopped being friends. I don’t care if no one watches, which clearly won’t even be possible, but as long as I get to work with my best friends and those sweet TV paychecks come in, I’ll be happy. Anything that keeps people from remembering that racist tirade I went on a few years back. Oh damn, I brought it up again, didn’t I? Er – Seinfeld! Yeah!”

“It’s sad that they have to keep rehashing these old shows,” said film and TV critic Carmine Classi. ”With all the crap on TV today though, I’m really looking forward to Seinfeld coming back this fall. Dreyfus, Richards, and Alexander all sucked on solo projects, but together they at least make a passible show. It may be about nothing, but plenty of people watched Jersey Shore, and that’s not exactly about anything, either. Personally, I think Jerry Seinfeld deserves a Nobel Peace Prize or something for making this happen.”

 

Jim Parsons Quits ‘The Big Bang Theory’ After On-Set Fight

PASADENA, California – jim parsons quits the big bang theory after on-set fight

It looks as though of the most beloved characters on television today, Sheldon Cooper, won’t be returning to The Big Bang Theory for its 8th season, after actor Jim Parsons has walked-off set and quit the show because of an on-set fight with co-star Johnny Galecki.

According to sources on the show, which has been in the process of filming since June, tensions behind the scenes have been extremely high. Last year the show was nearly cancelled after several members of the main cast demanded massive pay raises, forcing producer and creator Chuck Lorre to choose between keeping his show on the air or letting it taper off.

“We had contracted everyone involved for season one, and then it took off, and immediately signed everyone on for 5 more seasons,” said Lorre. “After season 6, which everyone did for the same amount of money, I think the monotony of playing the same stupid characters for so long, for over 150 episodes, was really getting to everyone, Parsons especially. So they all asked for a pay raise. They got it going into season 7, but this time around, for the season we’re filming, the cast, or rather their agents, really wanted more than they deserved.”

CBS, the parent company who releases the show, relented and gave in to the demands of the stars, but it hasn’t been enough to keep a peace on set. Crew members report that there have been many fights over contracts and money behind-the-scenes, namely between stars Parsons and Galecki.

“I don’t really care that [Parsons] is gone. We can do a whole hell of a lot better with someone else, anyway,” said Galecki, who plays Leonard Hofstadter on the show. “Last season ended with [Parsons’ character] Sheldon running away because Leonard was moving out of the apartment. He was supposed to come back, obviously, and we shot a few scenes with him back, but now, the hell with it, they’re just going to write him out permanently.”

Writers and producers have been scrambling to come up with material for the currently-filming season, as well as a way to introduce a new character.

“We don’t know for sure what Jim [Parsons] is planning. We’re working that out right now,” said Lorre. “In the mean time, we do have interest from several actors to join the cast, including Michael Cera and Topher Grace, either of which would be a fantastic addition to the show.”

Parsons himself has yet to comment publicly on his departure. His agent released a statement saying that “certain aspects of [Parsons’] contract were not being met, and that he was within his rights to walk off set.”

CBS Films, the company who produces Big Bang, had no comment on their plans for a cast change, or whether or not they felt that Parsons would return.

 

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