Man With Teeth On Outside Of Face Says ‘At Least I Don’t Have Cavities’

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PEIKING, China – 

Pang Wok has a rare condition that has caused his teeth to grow outwards, through his lips and gums, appearing on the outside of his face. Although doctors say that with plastic surgery and careful extraction they could fix most of Mr. Wok’s issues, he seems completely un-phased by his condition.

“I have always been like this, so no need to change anything now,” said Wok, 52. “I do not have cavities, I can still chew, so there’s not much to complain about. I am who I am and that all that I am.”

Wok says that many doctors from all over the world have offered to correct his tooth issues free of charge, but even then, Wok claims that he’s not interested.

“What’s the point? Everyone I know has seen me, they’ve grown used to it,” said Wok. “If I changed the way I look now, what would my family say? What would my wife say? They know me in this way. I am happy enough, even if I look strange. Besides, all of my patients think it’s hilarious.”

Wok has been a practicing dentist for over 20 years.

Dentists Retract Years Of Research, Now Say Candy Helps Teeth Stay Strong

Dentists Retract Years Of Research, Now Say Candy Helps Teeth Stay Strong

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Warnings of rotting teeth and early dentures immediately spring to mind for many who grew up with health-conscious parents, but a recent trend among dentists may mean that is all about to change.

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Dentists all over the world are declaring that candy and other sugar-packed sweets are actually the secret to strong, healthy teeth. This is backed by the ADA, or American Dental Association, who seem to be the originators of the claim. The ADA Seal of Acceptance, which previously appeared on products like toothpaste and some gum, will now appear on many types of candy.

“Hard sugary candies and the sticky stuff that gets stuck to your teeth are the best,” the ADA’s executive director explained. “The old idea that sugar rots your teeth out was akin to the idea that the Earth was flat – really just ignorant assumption.”

Everything in moderation, of course – too much isn’t good for you, experts say, just like drinking five gallons of water in a day isn’t good for you. Most dentists agree that if your teeth end up rotting out and you have to shell out thousands of dollars to them for operations and dental products, you most likely have poor dental hygiene habits in other areas. The “sweet spot” seems to be five to seven pounds of sugary candy a week.

Researchers across the country have taken an interest in this new return-to-candy movement as people seem to be visiting dentists more than ever. Many have mysteriously also retracted their statements, instead praising the ADA for its great research.

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