OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma –

A local high school gym teacher has been temporarily suspended with pay, after reports of him allegedly waterboarding his students while in detention. Keith Evans, 56, may be looking at time behind bars if the charges are to stick, but he claims he was just doing his job by disciplining his students.

“I spent a lot of time in the military and working for the government before becoming a teacher, and that’s how you treated trouble cases,” said Evans, completely disregarding his union representative’s advice to not speak to the press.

Police are convinced Evans learned this technique during his very colorful background in the United States military. They feel that Evans may be ‘numb’ to the idea that waterboarding is harmful, and feel that no matter how the probably pending legal case goes, he will never understand what type of danger he put these students into.

“These kids were liars, cheats, and thieves, and I know that what I did what was right,” said Evans. “It’s not like I killed anyone. And it’s not like I ran the water over their faces for minutes at a time, like we used to do to terror suspects. It was just for a few seconds, just to teach them to wise up a bit. Hell, some of the kids were on the school’s swim team, so not only am I disciplining, them I’m training them for their next swim meet.”

“Honestly, I have no idea what any of this is about,” said Bobby Reynolds, 15. “I was in that detention, and Mr. Evans never bothered any of us. Not at all. We were totally fine, and detention was just quiet and nice. There was no waterboarding or any other torture going on.”

Evans has been put on leave, pending investigation. So far, none of the 14 kids in the detention will admit to any torture. Police think that they may all be too scared of Evans to admit what happened. 3 of the children did report better-than-average times in their last swim meet, though.