Dr. Pepper Announces Production Halt, Purchase By Coca-Cola

pepper

ATLANTA, Georgia – 

The Coca-Cola Company says that they have purchased the rights to one of their biggest rivals from 7-Up Co., Dr. Pepper. The company says that they have plans to discontinue the product sometime in the summer of 2016, with plans to create their own, offshoot product that is “very similar” in taste to Dr. Pepper.

“After 131 years of quenching Americans thirst, Dr. Pepper will halt production in the Summer of 2016,” said Coca-Cola spokesman Mark Carson. “Though sales have always remained consistent, the 7-Up company can no longer compete with other soda producers using cheaper ingredients, such as ours. Rights to the recipe have been sold to us at Coca-Cola, and we have plans to stop producing the beverage later this year. Following shortly, a new Coca-Cola-branded version of a Dr. Pepper substitute will come out.”

Representatives for Dr. Pepper released a statement saying they were “extremely depressed” by the sale of the beverage recipe, but that they had “no choice” with the offer Coke made. They will continue to market and distribute their other flagship soda, 7-Up.

Anonymous Source Says Ronda Rousey Was Paid To Take Dive, Lose To Holly Holm

rousey holm

SYDNEY, Australia – 

Former Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey may have been paid to take a dive during her UFC 193 championship fight, according to anonymous sources.

In a letter that was sent to ESPN offices, a person alleges that he paid millions to have the fight between the two women fixed, saying that he bet big money on Holly Holm, who was at 6-1 odds of losing the bout, and even after an alleged payoff, made $10 million on the fight.

“I have proof that I fixed the championship fight between Rousey and Holm at UFC 193,” read the letter, delivered from an anonymous gmail email account. “I made a substantial amount of money that night, over $10M. I paid Rousey $4M. She wanted to take time off anyway, and she knew it was a great offer.”

According to UFC officials, the fight was completely on the level, although fans weren’t so sure.

“Rousey fought like shit, like there was no way she was going to win, no matter how hard she tried,” said a UFC fan. “Holm? Who the hell is she anyway? It’s crazy that she was able to win against a woman whose last 10 fights had a combined time of one minute. I definitely think there was a fix.”

Representatives for the UFC organization say they are “looking into” the allegations.

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