The 2014 Gadget Expo is a regular ‘Nerd Nirvana,’ with all the latest gadgets and gizmos on display for people to check out, try out, and plan their 2015 tech purchases. Many new products created plenty of excitement such as Apple’s iWatch and Alienware’s 3D laptop. But the one product that stole the show was Google’s new X-Ray glasses, which the company is already planning for a 2015 release.
“We all remember the ads in the back of comics. You could get sea monkeys or paper dolls. But the most popular ad was for X-Ray glasses. Of course, those glasses were a disappointment when they came in the mail, but it created a dream in the minds of a generation,” said Larry Page, Google CEO. “Now, some of those disappointed boys are the smartest engineers in the world, and they work here at Google. Ladies and gentlemen, those same young honor society nerds that dreamed of seeing through girls clothes have done it, and we now have real X-Ray glasses! Pending some safety issues, Google X-Googles will be available next year!”
“It’s true, the X-Ray glasses work perfectly, and with different settings, you can see through garments, skin and bones, and even walls,” said Product manager Harold Harris. “We see this as a great development that will no doubt have untold advantages in the fields of medicine and law enforcement. The safety tweaks are happening now, as the one Mr. Page spoke of is actually quite serious. Currently, the X-Ray glasses have a 100% brain tumor rate on wearers. Unfortunately, the threat of brain tumors is not stopping the engineers on the project from wearing the glasses to spy on female employees. I guess for them seeing a girl naked is worth a brain tumor. At the rate engineers are dropping out for sickness or straight-up dropping dead, the tweaks may take a little longer to fix than expected.”
Despite possible setbacks in health-related risks and fatalities by wearers, Google still plans to release the new X-ray glasses as soon as possible. “We know that Google Glass was just the beginning for what we’re calling or Google Spectacles Division,” said Page. “All those people out there wearing our current product will certainly be interested in our new Google X-Googles. We can’t wait for them to all go from becoming Glassholes to Raytards.”