QUEENS, New York –
Dirty sluts, rejoice! Protective panties are coming to a bathroom vending machine or sex shop near you. New Woman’s Choice brand medicated underwear are predicted to replace condoms as the preferred contraceptive method for the one night stand.
You can slip these discreet underwear on up to six hours before intercourse, and they will help protect a woman against pregnancy and many sexually transmitted infections.
The special undergarment is coated in a blend of antibiotics, spermicide, and pesticide, which is up to 99% effective against chlamydia and gonorrhea, pregnancy, and pubic lice. It must be worn for at least 80 minutes before sex for maximum protection.
It does not prevent the transmission of viruses like herpes or HIV, and is not intended to be used regularly.
Clinical trial participant, Joulee Brown says she is thrilled about the product. “A lot of brothas complain they can’t keep it up with a condom on, and sometimes I’m so drunk I forget the risks. If I’m going out to the club I put the sheer pink panties under my regular ones, and in the morning I don’t have to worry, What happened last night? I can’t wait until I can pick them up at Walgreens.”