UNITED STATES –
For time immemorial, gloomy teenagers have represented their isolation with heavy use of the color black. What the current generation calls “emo kids” have been no exception to the rule. They dye their hair dark black, wear black clothing, and even use copious amounts of black eyeliner and nail polish.
It is exactly the long-running convention of this trend that today’s emo generation is starting to turn against. In research conducted by the Childhood Development Agency (CDA), data has emerged that more and more angry teens are painting their rooms bright pink.
“We … defy… modern society… the man,” mumbled one such child. “Our parents expectations of us don’t matter! We’ll paint our rooms whatever color we want!”
“As long as it’s not black,” interjected another teen. “That’s so conformist. No lonely and creative teen has ever painted their room pink before.”
While the changing trend has been a great boon for colored paint, black paint itself admitted to having a mountain ahead of it to climb.
“When I got into this, my aim was to not conform to other paints’ ideas of beauty,” said black paint. “I would not be like those happy-clappy types who don’t know anything about meaning in life or existentialism. Now the kids think that I’ve sold out. Well, I haven’t, and I won’t give up my perch as the harbinger of sorrow that easily.”
Parents of teens joining the pink paint craze have reacted with pleasant surprise, mostly indicating that the house has brightened and the angst created by the darkness has dissipated.
As of press time, most emo teens have abandoned the idea, considering other options such as brown or golden honeysuckle.
“Our parents know nothing about the depth of feeling in paint colors,” they said. “If they think pink paint is better, it’s because they’re totally deluded by societal norms. We were almost swept in, but now we know the dangers, and will continue fighting the norms of society with paint.”