Anti-Semitism Blamed For Jewish Teen’s Failure to Graduate

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GARDEN GATE, Illinois – 

The failure of eighteen year old Moshe Rabinowitz to graduate from St Peter’s High School has been attributed to anti-Semitism within the school. Rabinowitz has attended the Catholic High since 2nd grade, and had no problems thus far, but teachers this week revealed to his parents that he is failing in his final year, and will not be able to improve in time for final exams. The disappointed student, who expects to become a doctor, told reporters that he felt let down by the school.

“I didn’t realize that they hated Jews, but I guess my rabbis always told me to watch out for latent anti-Semitism,” Rabinowitz said. “I mean, in Germany in the 30s, Jews thought they were welcome, and then look what happened. So it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to learn that everyone there was setting me up for failure all along.”

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL), a Jewish organization aimed primarily at fighting anti-Semitism, spoke out strongly against St Peter’s, and threatened to take legal action if the school did not alter their decision.

“It is very regrettable that it’s come to this,” Abraham Foxman, head of the ADL, wrote in an open letter to the school’s board. “We do everything we can to ensure that our people are protected against this kind of discrimination. Sometimes we feel comfortable, but incidents such as this one are sad reminders that everyone hates us.”

Foxman was referencing a poll that the ADL conducted which they said indicated that over a quarter of the world’s population is anti-Semitic. The poll was largely disregarded by the world at large, which in turn was blamed on anti-Semitism.

Rabinowitz’s parents told the ADL that they were made to feel uncomfortable for practicing their religion.

“They called us in, singled us out,” said Mrs Rabinowitz. “I for one couldn’t let down my guard, with them telling me that my boy wasn’t good enough for them. You’d think in the twenty first century things would be different, but it seems no one is learning.”

KKK Wizard Tries Using Klan Membership Card To Get Bleach Discount At Grocery Store

LEOMA, Tennessee – KKK Wizard Tries Using Membership Card To Get Bleach Discount At Grocery Store

Imperial Wizard William Sanders, of the Tennessee Chapter of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, attempted use his Klan membership card in order to receive a discount at a local grocery chain for a large order of bleach he was purchasing for his local chapter’s use.

“He came up to the counter with a shopping cart all filled up with bleach bottles,” recalls cashier Trelaine Mumford, “and he asked me if I could give him a discount since he was buying so many.”

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The store was running a “buy one, get one free” special with a limit of 1 offer per person, explained Mumford.  “The manager set that up, and I couldn’t go against the policy. He [Sanders] handed me a card and I thought at first he was showing me his bonus points savings card, but it was a membership card to the Klan instead.  He asked me if it would work to get a discount for the bleach, and that’s when I had to go ask the manager.”

“I talked to the store manager who I knew from around town, but he’s not part of our Klavern,” said Sanders.  A “Klavern” in KKK terminology, is a local branch or meeting place for members of the controversial organization, classified as a hate group by the Anti-Defamation League and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

“He denied me the discount,” Sanders said, “and right then and there I felt discriminated against.  My rights were violated as a pure American customer and public citizen.”

“We have to look our best,” continued Sanders.  “Our whites have to look bright.  The economy’s real bad around here these days, so I try to save money everywhere I can, just like everybody else does.  I don’t think it’s fair to deny something to one group just because you don’t think the same way they do,” he added.

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