Would-Be Bank Robber Foiled By Bad Heart

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Would-Be Bank Robber Foiled By Bad Heart

SKOWHEGAN, Maine – 

Some people aren’t cut out to be criminals, as would-be bank robber, Tommy Perry found out the hard way.

Perry entered the Franklin Savings Bank with a backpack and a note instructing the teller to quickly empty her drawer. Witnesses say Perry seemed to be leaning on the counter as if to steady himself as she filled the bag. The teller had not even emptied her drawer before Perry suddenly fled out the door.

It is unclear how Perry planned to flee the area, but he did not make it out of the parking lot before collapsing.

Police discovered Perry lying between two parked cars, suffering from a heart attack and was detained and rushed to the hospital.

His wife says this may have been a blessing in disguise. “Tommy’s been under a lot of stress. He could’ve had a heart attack mowing the lawn, and we don’t have insurance right now. We would’ve been stuck with those medical bills. Now the state of Utah is footing the bill and he’s receiving the care he needs. All I can do is pray that if he doesn’t make it the life insurance policy will still go through. I’ll never forgive him if this means me and the kids won’t be taken care of.”

7-Year-Old Boy, 8-Year-Old Girl On Bank Robbery Spree Across Midwest

7-Year-Old Boy, 8-Year-Old Girl On Bank Robbery Spree Across Midwest

 

OMAHA, Nebraska –

While some may have thought that outlaw bank robberies were a terror that only our great-grandparents had to deal with, one duo has proven it is anything but.

Robert Middleton and Stacey Antworth are not your run-of-the-mill bank robbers for many reasons. The main reason being that the two have combined for a total of 15 years on the Earth. Middleton turned eight in January, according to his mother. Antworth is seven, and will be eight in April.

The two have committed 16 bank robberies as they cross the country, and the reason for their success is simple: “They’re too cute to say no to,” says bank teller Rebecca Oliver. “When they come through the door in their oversized suit and dress, and they try to sound tough and point finger-guns at you… you kind of just have to turn the money over.”

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Ohio bank manager, Lauren Whittle, stated that she did apprehend them at one point, but only to give them the biggest hug in the whole wide world. “I just wanted to love them forever,” she said. “The rules clearly state that when someone comes in and demands money, our job is to give them the money. The problem is that due to all the gushing over how cute they are, we all forgot to alert the police until it was too late.”

Both children were reported missing in Pennsylvania by their respective parents in September. Detectives assigned to the case had originally believed the parents had been involved. However, it now appears the two children have made their route via hitchhiking. The two have since been seen in Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Iowa. As to how they got there, officials stated the two were catching rides with friendly truckers.

“I don’t know who could say no to those faces,” said Geoffery Jefferies. The long-haul trucker stated he picked up the duo in Indiana. I saw them on the side of the road and waving their finger-guns in the air and holding a bag of money.” Jefferies stated he simply felt compelled to pick them up.

“Look, you have two adorable kids holding up a wad of cash and trying to make a mean face. You have to give them a ride. They were adorable as hell. They tell the best stories… it was the best cross-state trip I ever had.”

When asked if he felt the kids are in danger, Jefferies scoffed and claimed, “Ain’t nobody in this world is dumb enough to hurt these kids. They’ve been known on the two-ways for a month now, and we take care of our own on the highways and byways of this country.”

The two adorable bank robbers are assumed to be somewhere in Nebraska. Their parents are hoping that someone will be kind enough to reunite them to their children soon.

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