TAMPA, Florida –
Joel Lewis, 38, freely admitted in court that he murdered his wife, Joanne Lewis, 36, after 10 years of marriage. Although at that point prosecutors thought their job was finished, in a surprise twist, the jury found Lewis not guilty after learning the reason for Lewis’ act.
“My wife had not had sex with me in over 5 years,” said Lewis while on the stand, confessing. “It was a nightmare. I don’t need anything special. Just some missionary once in a while, maybe a good mouth-j on my birthday, but Joanne hadn’t even touched me in years. I promised to never betray her, and I just couldn’t cheat on her morally. I didn’t ever promise not to bludgeon her to death with one of her giant dildos, though.”
Prosecutors were seeking life in the murder case, but the jury foreman, Mark Richards, says that he didn’t see how he could possibly fault Lewis for his actions.
“There was 9 men and 3 women on the jury, and even the 3 women couldn’t believe what happened,” said Richards after the trial ended. “We only deliberated for about 3 minutes, and we went right back. We knew we had to vote not guilty.”
Lewis was immediately freed after spending the last 9 months in jail during his trial. He says that he is “extremely glad” that the jury understood what happened, and that he was just “so excited” to get back to his life.