‘Penis Monologues’ Finishes in Buffalo, Coming to Broadway in 2015

BUFFALO, New York –

“The Penis is Coming to Broadway!” declared theater impresario Arthur Furioso, author and one of the actors who appears in the new play ‘The Penis Dialogues,’ now finishing up a successful run at Buffalo’s art-deco 3,076-seat Century Theater located at 511 Main Street. The theater, built in 1921 as a movie theater, has not seen such an outrageous and controversial performance since it was used in the 1970s as a rock music venue for the likes of Cheap Trick, Peter Gabriel and the Kinks.

“The time has come for the Penis!” continued Furioso. “’The Penis Monologues’ will turn Broadway upside down and have it begging for mercy!”

Mort Gage, an actor who will follow the play to New York City, said that coming to Broadway is a dream come true. “This is an important work and I am very proud to be a part of it.” Gage plays ‘Little Johnny’, a bawdy character whose journey begins as a child who accidentally discovers his parents making love and asks them to make puppies, referring to an earlier observation in the neighborhood of two local canines similarly engaged. During his eight minute stay on the stage he ages and eventually becomes a young man, asking his new bride a number of innocent questions culminating in a discussion of household electrical connections.

“Little Johnny is an important character in the play since he embodies the playful nature of the penis and elicits a fond reflection in the audience of their own time of innocence,” said Gage.

’The Penis Monologues’ is similar to the popular ‘Penis Puppets’ show that played worldwide some years ago. Who would have thought back then that a couple of guys from Australia would be an international sensation by flopping their junk around on stage?” said, Furioso, referring to the play ‘Puppetry of the Penis’, created by Simon Morley and puppeteer David “Friendly” Friend in Melbourne in 1998. That play toured the world and is still in existence almost 20 years later. “We are looking forward to making a big splash in New York City,” said Furioso.

Playwright Eve Ensler, creator of the 1994 play ‘The Vagina Monologues’, could not be reached for comment, but one actress who has performed in ‘Vagina,” and who asked not to be named, said she expects the ‘Penis” show to have a flaccid run and limp out of New York at the end of their session.

“The Penis Monologues” will open at NYC’s lavish 42nd Street Theater in April 2015.

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine set to hit the stands in October, Justin Bieber announced that he will be starring in the title role in the beloved classic musical, Annie, on Broadway next year.

Said the young music sensation, “I’m pretty stoked to take a break from the hip hop scene and do what I really love—show tunes.”

He also noted the parallels between the rags-to-riches character and his own shot to wealth and stardom. “Annie really inspired my journey,” he said. “And if she were a real person, I really think she’d be a belieber.”

Bieber revealed that the song, It’s a Hard Knock Life was the reason he chose to break into music to begin with, and even claims that from the moment his mom put in the old VHS during a family fun night, he became convinced that it gave birth to the hip-hop movement as we know it.

“If you think about it,” said Bieber, “hip-hop came from rap, an art form inspired by disenfranchised youth and life on the streets. People think being from a white Canadian family I don’t know about that. But I saw the great classic film Don’t be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. Belieb me. I know.”

Aside from his elation at this career-changing opportunity, which he calls “a dream come true,” he can’t wait to “take a Lamborghini through Times Square at 120.”

At the close of the interview, Bieber stated that proceeds from the production will be donated to a support group for celebrities who have been defamed by the media.

“That’s right homies, the sun will come out tomorrow,” Bieber said, with a fist-bump to the chest. “The Biebs has got all ya’lls back.”

When asked if more gender-bending stage performances could be anticipated in the near future, he replied, “Right now I’m in talks with Alex Timbers to do Anne of Green Gables.”

Tickets go on sale August 1st, 2014.