Customer Service Representative Memorizes Credit Card Numbers, Uses Them To Order Pizza


PHOENIX, Arizona – 

A customer service representative for a telecommunications company has been arrested and charged with fraud after it was found that he was memorizing customer credit card numbers, and using the numbers to have food and other items delivered to his home.

Kevin Brenden, 29, has been taken into police custody and charged with fraud, felony burglary, and identity theft. According to police, Brenden – who worked in a call center for one of the nation’s largest cell phone companies – was able to memorize credit card numbers for use at a later date.

“I worked in a ‘paper free’ zone, which meant there was no way for me to write anything down,” said Brenden. “The company thought this would help to alleviate and chance of theft. Honestly, I only stole the numbers to prove that their system was stupid. Paper or not, people can get the card numbers. It’s just a matter of wanting to.”

Brenden says that he had been taking credit card numbers for almost 2 years before he was caught, when he made several major purchases for Christmas.

“I usually just bought a pizza or something, had it delivered. Small things,” said Brenden. “I was really short on cash for Christmas though, and I made the mistake of ordering some things from Amazon that were a little pricey. No one really noticed an extra 10 or 20 bucks on their card when I’m ordering food. They definitely notice an extra $200 when it’s for a new Apple TV.”

Police say that Brenden has been fully cooperating with their investigation. Per request from the company, they are not releasing the name of the organization that Brenden worked for.

Microchip in Store Savings Card Tracks More Than Spending Habits


ATLANTA, Georgia – 

Not only do they track your purchases, but they may be tracking your whereabouts. Drug, supermarket, and department store loyalty cards earn you rewards and savings, and in exchange they collect valuable purchase tracking data. In attempts to learn more about the average shopper habits, most chain stores have started also tracking their customers’ whereabouts, as well as listening to private conversations.

Some stores, though, say that they are not on board. Rite Aid CEO John Standley says he doesn’t believe in the microchipping. “It’s not right. It’s not Rite Aid. We believe in maintaining the privacy of our customers, and what keeps them coming back here are the great deals and the gasses we pump from the ceiling.”

Stockholders criticize Standley, saying the company is missing out on an opportunity for gain as tracking information can be sold to the illuminati at a premium.

“I have no idea why Rite Aid is so against tracking customers,” said Kroger store president Johnny Kroger. “We have been watching our customers for years, and tracking them with loyalty cards and credit card transactions. This is how we always know what to have, and when to have it.”

Experts say that you should immediately destroy and store cards that you have, regardless of what store it may be.

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