EVERYTOWN, USA –
Ever wonder why there is a House of Pizza located in every small town in America? The truth is more incredible than you can imagine.
Conspiracy-theory expert, Paul Young claims he uncovered documents that will send shockwaves through the internet. He obtained them while employed as night manager at his local House of Pizza. “People need to realize these Greeks aren’t just about slinging subs and calzones. They’re more concerned about setting themselves up in positions of power in the New World Order.”
Young claims his suspicions started when he got a look at the books. “There was no way we were making as much as they claimed. At first I thought they must be laundering money. The owner was visited by mysterious men in suits, so it all made sense.”
When another employee discovered Illuminati symbols stamped on the underside of a table, Young became concerned. “I started digging into the files in the office, and I made a shocking discovery. All these Houses of Pizza are connected, forming a network of sleeper cells around the country. Don’t believe me? I’ve found the mark of the all-seeing eye under many House of Pizza tables. I suggest you look for yourselves.
Although many believe the Order of the Illuminati is no longer active, Paul insists that’s just what they want you to think. “There is abundant evidence that the Illuminati exists and our leaders are just puppets with no real control. I have studied it extensively on Youtube. Anyone with a computer can confirm this. The problem is the masses just believe whatever they’re told by mainstream media.”