LAS VEGAS, Nevada –
A new online poll has shown that at least 64% of men enjoy watching ugly chicks getting punched in the face repeatedly.
The poll is confirmed by the recent upward trend in popularity of women’s mixed martial arts within organizations such as the UFC and Strikeforce.
Research has shown that the uglier the woman, the more men want to see her get punched in the face. Fighters such as Gina Corano score big ratings when they get their faces punched in, but when you pit her with an even uglier Cris Cyborg, the rating go through the roof, as was seen during their 2009 match-up.
But the question is, why do men love seeing ugly chicks getting punched so much?
Dr. Joseph Goldsmith, a Sports Psychologist at John F. Kennedy University, says that he may have an answer.
“Come on, Seriously? Who WOULDN’T want to see an ugly chick get punched?” said Dr. Goldsmith. “I mean, you don’t have to be a psychologist to figure that out. Men love violence and they also hate looking at ugly things. When you go out to Taco Bell and there’s a fat chick stuffing her face with chalupas, don’t you want to punch her in her chubby little pig face? I know I do.”
SAN FERNANDO, California –
Porn star Helen Humps filed suit today claiming she was blasted in the face prematurely while shooting a scene in her upcoming movie The Fast and The Facial. Randy Rams, her co-star, could not be reached for comment, but a close friend stated that Randy was trying to forget the incident.
“It all happened about four months ago, and I haven’t been able to get work since, I’m physically and emotionally damaged,” said Helen Humps, whose real name is Helen Lovecock. ”It started out a normal day on set. I was working on The Fast and the Facial and everybody was excited, I mean this was a big time movie. This was my first film that had a script, and my first film that wasn’t shot, edited and released all in the same day. I was hoping that this was the one that was going to make me a star.”
As it turns out, an uncommon malfunction on the film set would cost Humps her big break in pornographic films.
“Randy and I were shooting a scene in the front seat of a Honda Civic – I was in driver’s seat because I played the ‘bad girl’ racer. Right as I was about to go down on Randy – BLAST! Right in my face! The airbag exploded, and the car wasn’t even moving. The impact broke my nose and chipped my tooth. I screamed, Randy screamed, blood was pouring out my nose, it was horrible. Now look at me. It’s been four months, and even all healed up I still have a crooked nose, and the chipped tooth ended up falling out completely. It’s not like porn stars have a health plan, and no one will hire me. That’s why I’m suing Honda for medical costs and loss of wages.”
Lawyers for Honda would not comment on active lawsuits, but did release a statement claiming that prop cars are not covered under warranty.