Walt Disney’s Cryogenically Frozen Body To Be ‘Thawed’ Next Year on 50-Year Anniversary Of Death

MIAMI, Florida –

In 1966, one of the most famous men of the modern era passed away from lung cancer. Walt Disney is universally known for his animation and film studio, which over the years has provided many beloved children’s films.

When he died, Disney was one of the wealthiest men in the world. His final wishes were to have his body cryogenically frozen and placed in a vault underneath Cinderella’s castle in Disney World. According to his will, it was set to be kept there for 50 years, and at that point he wanted to be ‘thawed’ out.

“We have denied the rumors for many years, but it is true that Walt Disney had himself cryogenically frozen and placed under the castle,” said Walt Disney World president Marc Jacobs. “It was Mr. Disney’s wish that on the 50th anniversary of his death, we unfreeze him, and attempt to revive his body.”

According to Disney’s will, he chose the 50th anniversary of his death, because he believed that would be ample time for doctors to have cured lung cancer.

“Of course, sadly for him, Mr. Disney was wrong, and there is still no cure for cancer,” said Jacobs. “On the plus side, though, doctors have been able to do full lung transplants, so when we revive him, it’s possible that he could live with a new set of lungs. We have really high hopes that the procedure will be a success.”

The plan from the Walt Disney Company is to thaw Disney’s frozen body on December 15th, 2016, exactly 50 years since his death.

“We hav

AUGUSTA, Maine –

A self-professed ‘super-fan’ of the Disney film Frozen said that he has found what he believes to be a graphic sexual innuendo hidden in the film in a form of subliminal messaging.

“It was on my 148th viewing of the film when I first noticed that there was something just not quite right in one of the scenes,” said Marcus Snow. “I’ve been watching the movie at least once a day since it came out to own, sometimes even more than once. I love that movie, and there’s no way I could ever ‘Let It Go.'”

Snow says that while watching the movie, he paused it briefly to use the bathroom, and when he came back, he was very surprised at what he saw on his screen.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Snow. “I’ve watched the movie so many times, but I just happened to pause at just the right second. I sat down, and was about to hit play, and my jaw just dropped. I know that Disney is notorious for putting little dirty things into their movies, but this was just beyond what I could have ever imagined being snuck into a children’s movie.”

As Snow mentioned, Disney has been known in the past to sneak adult, or sexual, innuendos into some of their cartoons over the years. Aside from the obvious jokes that go above some younger children’s heads, there have also been instances of real nudity, such as the few frames of a topless woman in the background of the 1977 film The Rescuers, or hidden words, such as SEX spelled out in grass during the film The Lion King.

“This clearly tops the little things they hid or were supposedly found in their older movies,” said Snow. “I’ve been in love with Disney movies since I was three, and I was about 9-years-old when I first noticed that huge, veiny penis on the cover of The Little Mermaid VHS box. I think that this is even dirtier and just almost too extreme. It’s scandalous in my opinion, because this movie is more popular with young kids than Mermaid was, so this has more opportunity to be seen. I just know that it’s mind-boggling that they would resort to such crude, tasteless humor, even if it is only an inside joke among the animators.”

Disney refused to comment on any possible adult innuendos made in Frozen, and continues to deny allegations about discreet references in previous films.