LOS ANGELES, California –
Simon Cowell, the 56-year-old television mogul was recently diagnosed with stage one squamous cell carcinoma, a form of lung cancer that makes up a quarter of the cases.
Although Cowell is most recognized as a judge on American Idol and Britain’s Got Talent he is also a entrepreneur, philanthropist, film, record, and television producer. Due to the diagnosis it is expected he will fulfill his obligations but have to turn down new commitments.
Recently Cowell rejoined American Idol after a break. “As much as I like being on a music show, it does get a bit tedious when it’s just singer after singer after singer, but I will be continuing even through chemotherapy and radiation,” Cowell told New York Times in a recent interview. “I’m lucky they caught it at this stage. Perhaps I will be a little more blunt, if you can imagine it, but this will not affect my ability to judge the show.”
Often times lung cancers are not caught until it is too late, as tumors have ample opportunity to grow in the lungs before becoming apparent, and initial symptoms are usually minor and ignored or attributed to something else. Cowell says the return to the show may have saved his life. “I had a bit of a cough that wouldn’t go away. The crew insisted I get a full work up. That’s when they found the mass.”
Cowell’s girlfriend Lauren Silverman and son Eric are encouraging Cowell to quit smoking cigarettes, a challenge that is proving tough for Cowell.
“It’s well known I have a bit of a temper, but who wouldn’t dealing with the idiots I have to? Cigarettes are the only bloody thing that calms me down.” As a judge, Cowell often makes blunt and controversial comments, including insults and wisecracks about contestants and their abilities. Scorned past contestants are cheering for the cancerous growth, calling it karma.
GERALD, Florida –
Over the last few years, many people have turned to vaping, or smoking e-cigarettes to help them quit smoking, or to ween of regular cigarettes. Although many people have said that vaping has help them to stop smoking, new studies are showing that instead of lung cancer, people who vape are more likely to contract type-2 diabetes.
“Do people even look at what is in the e-juice that they fill their vape machines with?” asked Dr. Emmett Brown of Harvard Medical College. “I mean, the ingredients in almost every single type we tested was nicotine and sugar. If it happened to be the nicotine free type of juice, then the ingredients were listed as sucralose and water – sugar water.”
Vaping has become increasingly popular in the last few years, but as more and more people take up the habit, the rate of type-2 diabetes in smokers has gone through the roof.
“Last year, in my clinic, we studied 200 people who were interested in quitting smoking. They began vaping, and all of them got of cigarettes,” said Dr. Brown. “Although this is a marvelous thing, every single one of them is also now a diabetic, and have to go on insulin and a special diet.”
Major vape companies, such as CoolVapesNow.com, have said that there is “no way” that their product causes any illnesses in its users.
“It’s just water vapor, man. I don’t know why everyone is getting so worked up about it,” said CoolVapes owner Myles Jones. “Vape on, that’s what I say. Vape on, bros.”
MIAMI, Florida –
In 1966, one of the most famous men of the modern era passed away from lung cancer. Walt Disney is universally known for his animation and film studio, which over the years has provided many beloved children’s films.
When he died, Disney was one of the wealthiest men in the world. His final wishes were to have his body cryogenically frozen and placed in a vault underneath Cinderella’s castle in Disney World. According to his will, it was set to be kept there for 50 years, and at that point he wanted to be ‘thawed’ out.
“We have denied the rumors for many years, but it is true that Walt Disney had himself cryogenically frozen and placed under the castle,” said Walt Disney World president Marc Jacobs. “It was Mr. Disney’s wish that on the 50th anniversary of his death, we unfreeze him, and attempt to revive his body.”
According to Disney’s will, he chose the 50th anniversary of his death, because he believed that would be ample time for doctors to have cured lung cancer.
“Of course, sadly for him, Mr. Disney was wrong, and there is still no cure for cancer,” said Jacobs. “On the plus side, though, doctors have been able to do full lung transplants, so when we revive him, it’s possible that he could live with a new set of lungs. We have really high hopes that the procedure will be a success.”
The plan from the Walt Disney Company is to thaw Disney’s frozen body on December 15th, 2016, exactly 50 years since his death.