Man Creates Indiegogo Campaign To Pay For His Assisted Suicide


PORTLAND, Oregon – 

A Portland, Oregon man has set up a crowdfunding page to help him pay for the expenses associated with his assisted suicide, including finding a doctor who will attend the event, as well as associated funeral costs.

Jimmy Rogers, 70, says that he has “absolutely nothing” left to live for, and wants to kill himself, but do it “properly,” according to the Portland Press Gazette and Herald. 

“I have lived here in Oregon my entire life. My wife is gone, we never had any kids, and I’m just sitting around, getting older by the minute,” said Rogers. “A friend of mine down at the rectory turned me on to the internet about 6 months ago. Fascinating thing, that internet. Anyway, I discovered a page where you can ask people to give you money, just like that, without doing a damn thing to earn it.”

Rogers says he saw a lot of people had received donations on everything from operations for their cat to a new pair of sneakers, all of which he referred to as “straight horse shit.”

“If these people want a pair of sneakers, they need to go out and get a damn job,” said Rogers. “That said, though, if people are just going to throw money at nothing, they might as well throw it at me.”

Rogers says he is seeking $15,000, which will pay for the doctor and his after-death expenses, with a little left over to send to his friend Roy, who is the person who helped Rogers set up his first computer.

Woman Creates Indiegogo Page To Raise Money For Abortion

SACRAMENTO, California – 

A 26-year-old Sacramento woman has turned to social media and crowd funding to cover the costs for what she says is a ‘medical emergency.’

“I really, really need an abortion,” says Kimberly Johnson on her Indiegogo page. “It’s going to cost about $700 at the clinic, and I don’t have a cent to my name. I don’t know which guy to go after to help pay for the processes, so anything you can donate would really help me out. Please share or donate today.”

The Indiegogo page was started by Johnson last week, and has so far raised only $2 dollars.

“I don’t know if people just don’t want to help, or if they’re not happy with my rewards options,” said Johnson when reached for comment. “I don’t have anything to give. If they donate $5 they get a personal ‘thank you’ through my Twitter. If they donate $100, they will actually get a piece of the fetus that they suck outta me. It’s really the only thing I’ve got to give, you know?”

According to Indiegogo policies, anyone can use their site for anything that want to raise money for, but a person will only get the money if they reach their goal. Johnson’s goal is $1,000.

“I know that the goal is actually a little more than the abortion is going to cost, but I figured while I’m at it, I could really use a new TV. The one I have now broke when my drunk ex threw a Wii-mote at it, and when you’re unemployed and living rent-free in the basement of your friend’s house, TV is really the only thing to keep you happy.”

Johnson’s Indiegogo funding ends on November 13th, which is only 2 days before she’d be too far along to end her pregnancy according to California law. “It’s down to the wire, but I could always just skip over to Nevada if need be. They have more lenient laws about abortions. I’ve had 4 or 5 there already.”

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