KFC Chicken Farmer Says Company Forced Him To Raise ‘Mutated Birds’

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LINCOLN, Iowa – 

An anonymous chicken farmer in Iowa has come forward this week, claiming that KFC, the world’s largest fast food chicken restaurant chain, has been paying him for years to raise “mutated chickens,” including ones that have multiple heads, extra legs, and some that have 6 or 7 wings.

“Years ago, a man came to visit me at my home, and asked if I wanted to raise chickens for KFC,” said the farmer, who wishes to remain anonymous. “I said ‘sure,’ and we settled on a specific payment that I’d like to not disclose. Anyway, some time went by, and the man came back. He brought with him a very odd type of feed, and told me to start giving it to the chickens.”

The farmer says that for the last 3 years, KFC has been paying him and delivering this “mystery feed,” which he says it what is causing all the mutations.

“They’re giving me little black pellets to feed the chickens, I don’t know what they are,” said the Farmer. “Curiously, though, neither the man who originally visited me, nor anyone else from KFC, has come to collect the mutated chickens. They do come and take the regular ones that I also raise, but the mutated ones just stay here until they die. I wish I knew more about their plans, but it seems that maybe they just want me to raise some fucked up looking chickens just for fun.”

KFC was not reached out to for comment.

Secret CDC Memos Reveal Strain of Ebola Virus Has Gone ‘Airborne’

WASHINGTON, D.C. –  Leaked CDC Memos Reveal Strain of Ebola Virus Has Become Airborne

The threat of the Ebola virus has gripped the country over the last several weeks, spreading across social media and internet news sites faster than the actual virus, but the one topic that concerned people the most is the idea that Ebola, which is normally contracted through contaminated bodily fluids, had become an airborne disease, similar to the way the common cold and influenza viruses are spread.

Even now, the Center for Disease Control in Washington says that Ebola has not gone airborne, and that you are not likely to get it if you just follow normal health precautions; washing your hands after using the bathroom, washing fruits and vegetables before eating, saying your nightly prayers, and not licking the open sores of Ebola patients or dead.

All of that is ‘hogwash,’ though, according to a CDC insider who has obtained memos from high-ranking officials within the organization. He says that Ebola has mutated itself into an airborne disease, and that a worldwide pandemic is already underway.

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“You’ve seen the news already about the government purchasing disposable coffins. Did you think that was a joke?” Said the CDC insider, who spoke to us anonymously. “Ebola is one of the deadliest diseases you can catch. Sure, only 2 people in the United States have it right now. Sure, it’s only killed about 5,000 people since 1976, compared to the almost 36,000 people who die of the flu every year. And sure, it’s hard to contract right now – but soon it won’t be.”

The anonymous source says that he obtained confidential memos that state that there is a strain of Ebola that the CDC is trying to hide, and that the viral nature of the new disease has already caused it to spread quickly.

“The standard Ebola is called EBOV, from its own genus, ebolavirus. The new strain is being referred to as EBON, from the genus ebolanet, stemming from the fact that Ebola has gone ‘airborne’ across the internet and social media, almost inciting a mass panic. Truth of the matter is, the odds of anyone in a first-world country with modern health technologies, like the United States, contracting the actual Ebola virus are near zero, but catching this new, panic-inducing media strain is almost a 100% certainty.”

The insider says that the best ways to avoid contracting this violent new strain of Ebola are to ‘ignore hype,’ ‘do your own research,’ and ‘stop believing everything you see on the internet.’

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