Congress Approves Bill That Will Offer Free Automobiles To Welfare Recipients

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WASHINGTON, D.C. –  Congress Approves Bill That Will Offer Free Automobiles To Welfare Recipients

Yesterday the White House announced its plan to offer free motor vehicles to welfare recipients, after congress passed the bill in a narrow vote. The program, initiated by President Barrack Obama, is very similar to what is now widely known to the public as “The Obama Phone,” where welfare recipients can get free cell phone service through a subsidized program. Some are even already referring to the free vehicle program as “The Obama Car.”

White House press secretary Josh Earnest announced the launching of the program in a late press briefing yesterday evening. “The free automobile program gives low-income Americans the opportunity to take ownership of a vehicle at no cost, and will also include a monthly gas card for $100. Any United States Citizen receiving welfare benefits qualifies for the program, which will be starting on January 5, 2015.” said Earnest.

Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell told reporters that this will be the downfall of President Obama. “This absurd plan that the democrats have conjured up is beyond belief. I have no idea how or why congress passed this. But I will tell you this, it is the beginning of the end for the Obama administration, Americans are fed up, and they are being called to the post,” McConnell said. “It is only a matter of time before the impeachment hearings begin, mark my words.”

Earnest said in the briefing that the campaign is intended to help unemployed Americans find secure employment, and ultimately will cause the unemployment rate to drop significantly. “Every American deserves the right to possess the ability to get themselves to a good job. Public transportation is very limited for most of the unemployed, especially in rural areas. This free vehicle assistance program is designed to change the way Americans are currently living. The President will sign the bill later this week, and the planning will be put into motion.” Earnest said.

There is sure to be public outrage along with intense approval from American citizens. John Humphries, a Washington D.C. tourist from Huntsville, Alabama thought that news of the “Obama Car” program was a joke.

“You have got to be kidding me, I thought you were joking,” Humphries told Empire News correspondent DeVante Williamson. “What next? All we are doing is giving criminals and scum of the Earth the wheels to make their drug deals while using their Obama-phones to set the deals up. People who really want to work, find a way to get to work, they always have. The unemployed are just lazy and make zero effort to find steady work. They want the easy way out, and our so-called government gives it to them. This is ridiculous.”

Juanita Jenkins of Albany, New York disagrees. “I think it is an excellent thing our government is doing. There are plenty of unemployed Americans who just cannot get to a job. This is sure to improve the steadily improving economy. I am not on welfare myself, but I have been considering quitting my job and applying for assistance while I look for a  better job. I guess that means I’ll be in line for a car, too,” Jenkins said eagerly.

Earnest also told the press that the types of vehicles used for the program will be various American-made models,  older than five years, but no more than ten years old. Once welfare recipients receive their automobile they will be given a gas card similar to that of the food stamp (SNAP) card, which will be loaded monthly with $100 credit to be used at popular chain gas stations.

 

Affordable Care Act Requires Euthanasia For Sick Seniors

MIAMI, Florida – Affordable Care Act Requires Euthanasia For Sick Seniors

Two years ago, Mildred Honeycutt, a senior and a resident of an assisted living community near Miami, Florida, was ecstatic about her new health coverage under the Affordable Care Act. Deemed ‘too affluent’ for Medicaid, she had found it impossible to get coverage due to her advanced age and several pre-existing medical conditions. Today she is singing a different tune.

“I went to see my doctor, because I’ve been tired all the time and I noticed I was bruising easily. They ran some tests, and it turns out I have leukemia. I asked the doctor what kind of treatment I would need, and he said that normally they would start chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants immediately. I asked him what he meant by ‘normally’, and he told me that those procedures for someone at my age aren’t covered. He said they are considered to be cost-prohibitive, meaning that the amount of time that they could extend my life was not deemed to be ‘worth the cost’.”

It gets worse. The approved treatment for someone in Mildred’s condition at her age is euthanasia. If she opts out of the approved treatment, meaning she will get to die naturally, the plan will not cover things like pain medication.

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“It’s like they actually want to kill me. Either I let them do the same thing to me that they do to convicted murderers, or they’ll take my meds away and I’ll be in constant pain until I die naturally.”

An insurance underwriter from Blue Cross and Blue shield was willing to take a look at Mildred’s case on the condition of anonymity.

“It is pretty clear cut. They have all these financial de-escalators in place here, mostly buried in the fine print and shrouded in legalese. But, she is right. Her policy dictates that the only allowable treatment for her condition is euthanasia. If she refuses treatment, it will basically nullify her entire policy. She’ll wind up having to take Asprin for pain caused by her cancer, and she’ll have to pay for that out of pocket”

Mildred was understandably upset by the findings, and is unsure of what she is going to do. Even if she was to file a motion or suit, she would either be dead or too far gone to receive treatment before it ever got before a judge.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know I’m going to die either way, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in agony. At the same time it seems wrong to just let them kill me like a feral dog. I am going to pray about it. It’s just not right,” said Mildred.

Whatever Mildred’s choice, she has a little over a week to decide. Her next appointment is coming up fast, and one way or another, it will be her last.

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