SASAFRASS, Mississippi –
A 19-year-old boy was arrested on Monday morning after calling 911 to report that he had murdered his parents.
“I hacked up my parents with a machete,” said the caller via the emergency number. “They pissed me off. They’ll never piss me off again.”
Police say that the teen, whose identity has not yet been released, was peacefully arrested in his home.
“When we arrive on the scene, the parents were everywhere,” said police chief Joel Clarke. “Pieces of mom here, chunks of dad there. It was a ghastly nightmare. The teen was busy taking pictures of himself holding the machete and posing menacingly. He was arrested with no incident.”
“They wouldn’t let me have any fucking cheesecake for dessert,” said the teen, who weighs over 300 pounds. “They were trying to help me ‘lose weight,’ yet they’re stuffing their fat faces with food right in front of me. They deserved it. They’ll be losing weight in hell, now.”
The teen faces first degree murder charges. In the state of Mississippi, he will likely receive the death penalty if convicted.