Super Bowl 50 Garners Lowest TV Ratings In Event History

Nov 11, 2012; Charlotte, NC, USA; Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton (1) is hit as he throws a pass by Denver Broncos defensive end Derek Wolfe (95) and defensive end Robert Ayers (91) in the third quarter at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

PHOENIX, Arizona –

Super Bowl 50 took place on Sunday evening, and chances are, you didn’t watch it. In the 50 years of the event’s history, and in the 38 that it has been broadcast on television, Sunday’s Super Bowl event garnered the lowest ratings ever. at only 2 million viewers. Normally the event would be seen by nearly 45 million people across the country.

“Basically, we think the two teams that played just weren’t cared about enough for people to watch,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “If the Patriots had been in the game, then people would have watched, if at least just to see them cheat and try and get away with it.”

Normally the show is a ratings powerhouse, if not for the sporting event itself, than for the commercials and halftime show.

“That, too, is dying out, because frankly, these companies release their commercials onto YouTube before the game actually happens, so people have already seen most of them,” said Joe Goldsmith, public relations manager for the NFL. “I have no idea why, since they spend 5 million-plus just to air them during the game. And don’t get me started on the halftime show. I mean, you watch men slamming into each other, rough-and-tumble, hell of a game, and then boom, halftime and we’re watching…Coldplay? I mean, who the hell books these things?”

Goodell says next year he will work hard to make sure teams people care about make it to the Super Bowl.

“Even if I have to come up with new rules or something, whatever I have to do to get real, worthwhile teams and players into the Super Bowl, I’ll do it,” said Goodell.

Peyton Manning Announces Retirement From NFL

Peyton Manning Announces Retirement From NFL


DENVER, Colorado –

A true NFL legend has reported hat he will be calling it quits with his football career. Peyton Manning, the long standing all-star quarterback, has announced he will retire, effective immediately. The star player says he would like to thank everyone who has helped him in his journey.

“I stayed in it for a few more years than I wanted, trying to finish my season with a Super Bowl win, but I realized that I may not have the ability to do that,” said Manning. “I want to go out with some pride. I would love another ring but these young guys are getting better and better, and I just can’t keep up. I’m not Tom Brady, after all.”

The team appears to be supporting Manning on his decision, and the official announcement is that they ‘appreciate the time’ they got to spend with him. Coaches of the team say they are upset with the loss of their quarterback, but tell us they have faith in their team and will find a way to win.

“I’ve had a great career with great people, I won a Super Bowl, broke records, and even got to make pizzas. Not every QB can say the same thing, and I’m grateful to say that I have,” said Manning.

The Denver Broncos have not announced who will be replacing Manning, but sources confirmed that Tim Tebow was called in for a meeting with the organization.

“I cannot confirm or deny the reports that we have met with the Tim Tebow,” said Denver Broncos spokesman Gerald Dyster. “Peyton Manning has announced he would be leaving the team, but that’s all we know right now. He’ll be missed, no doubt, by any true fan of the game. Thankfully, though, we’ve all still got Tom Brady to watch year after year.”



Ray Rice Signs With Denver Broncos, Expected To Play As Soon As Contract Finalized

DENVER, Colorado – Ray Rice Signs With Denver Broncos; Expected To Play Sunday Against Buffalo Bills

Recently reinstated by the NFL after being indefinitely suspended for most of the season, Ray Rice has signed with the Denver Broncos and is expected to play immediately following finalization of the pending contract offer.

Head coach John Fox told the press earlier in a brief press conference that the team is excited, and that after seeing Rice run drills to perfection that he has every intention of using the troubled running back immediately.

“He looked fantastic is all the drills he ran. We put him in full gear and had him run some plays against our defense, and I tell ya what – he punched them right in the mouth, just knocked them out during every play. This guy is just raging, he wants on the field badly,” Fox said.

When asked about the controversy surrounding Rice, Fox said that he was ‘barely aware’ of the situation. “Look, he paid the price, I guess. Everybody deserves a second chance, and by God, you better believe we had every intention of taking advantage of the situation. Personally, I don’t care who he did or didn’t punch in the face, because he did it in the past. It is all about the future now. Hopefully his future doesn’t involve any more hits, at least off the field.”

Several NFL teams appeared publicly to be shunning the running back, but according to Rice’s agent, Robert Combs, that was not the case.

“Teams were working him out, but all in secret, because what team wants to deal with the backlash while not being sure if he would even be a part of their team in the end? Basically every team Ray worked out for, and several he didn’t, wanted to make a deal. We came to the undeniable conclusion that Denver was the best place to have a likely chance to win. It wasn’t all about money, he wanted to go some place he would feel accepted and that is highly respected,” Combs told the Associated Press. “I’m just glad that in the NFL it doesn’t matter if you run a dog fighting ring, drive drunk and kill someone, or savagely beat the shit out of your significant other, in the end, the fans and the league will forgive you – as long as you can play the game.”

Details of the pending contract offer have not been released, but Combs said that it is ‘done deal’ and that the legalities and paperwork just need to be finalized.

Peyton Manning Injured, Team Says He’s Out For Season

DENVER, Colorado – peyton manning injured team says hes out for season

Not only will fantasy football rosters be ruined for everyone, but a season is in jeopardy for a team thought to be the top competitor coming into the NFL season this fall. Reports of Peyton Manning being out for the season have been confirmed by the team doctor after an injury that occurred in a walk-through practice.

The team was doing simple drills with no pads or contact, and Manning still found a way to break his ankle in three places, leaving him off the roster for the Denver Broncos.

The injury occurred when Manning dropped back for a pass and tripped over equipment that had been left out.

It is unclear when and if he will return to the field, but sources have confirmed that the equipment manager has been fired due to the incident. The Bronocos will be looking for hope in their back-up quarterback Brock Osweiler.

Osweiler says that he is nervous, but also ready to lead the team back to the Super Bowl.

“It’s crazy how it happened but when you get a chance to start in the NFL as a quarterback you have to take it,” said Osweiler. “Being a backup QB, I am more than prepared for this type of thing to happen, but I also thought if it did happen it would be during the season. I’m not saying it won’t be tough to follow Peyton Manning, but I have nothing but faith in myself, the team, and the organization.”

Tests are being run on Manning to see how critical the damages are to the ankle and if returning to play during the 2014-2015 season will be an option for the all-star quarterback.


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