Super Bowl 50 Garners Lowest TV Ratings In Event History

Nov 11, 2012; Charlotte, NC, USA; Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton (1) is hit as he throws a pass by Denver Broncos defensive end Derek Wolfe (95) and defensive end Robert Ayers (91) in the third quarter at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

PHOENIX, Arizona –

Super Bowl 50 took place on Sunday evening, and chances are, you didn’t watch it. In the 50 years of the event’s history, and in the 38 that it has been broadcast on television, Sunday’s Super Bowl event garnered the lowest ratings ever. at only 2 million viewers. Normally the event would be seen by nearly 45 million people across the country.

“Basically, we think the two teams that played just weren’t cared about enough for people to watch,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “If the Patriots had been in the game, then people would have watched, if at least just to see them cheat and try and get away with it.”

Normally the show is a ratings powerhouse, if not for the sporting event itself, than for the commercials and halftime show.

“That, too, is dying out, because frankly, these companies release their commercials onto YouTube before the game actually happens, so people have already seen most of them,” said Joe Goldsmith, public relations manager for the NFL. “I have no idea why, since they spend 5 million-plus just to air them during the game. And don’t get me started on the halftime show. I mean, you watch men slamming into each other, rough-and-tumble, hell of a game, and then boom, halftime and we’re watching…Coldplay? I mean, who the hell books these things?”

Goodell says next year he will work hard to make sure teams people care about make it to the Super Bowl.

“Even if I have to come up with new rules or something, whatever I have to do to get real, worthwhile teams and players into the Super Bowl, I’ll do it,” said Goodell.

Show’s Writers No Longer Sure Why ‘Family Guy’ Still Exists

Show's Writers No Longer Sure Why 'Family Guy' Still Exists

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Writers for the popular animated sitcom, Family Guy, have admitted that they have no idea why the series still exists. The show is currently in its 13th season, and does not look like it will be slowing down soon. The premise consists of a family of five and their talking dog Brian, experiencing mishaps while non-sequitur flashbacks tell one or two line jokes.

“I don’t know what we were ever doing, let alone what we’re doing now,” said Mike Henry. “Yeah, it’s funny at times, but is it telling a story? No. Is it making political points? Most of the time not. Do people actually like it? I don’t know – maybe the viewers have some morbid curiosity as to where the show might go next.”

And it’s exactly that question – where might the show go next – that fellow writer Alex Borstein answered.

“We never know what we’re going to write before we write it,” she told reporters. “So we have no idea where the show is going next. That’s why it’s such a mystery that it still exists. It has no purpose, no goal, no meaning… well I guess that sums up [Family Guy creator] Seth [Mcfarlane] too… Huh.”

Mcfarlane defended his creation, saying that all the fun is in Family Guy’s total unpredictability.

“How’s Peter going to embarrass his family next time? When is Brian going to die and come back to life again? Will Stewie ever kill Lois? Does that sub-plot even exist anymore? No one knows, least of all me.”

Most of the writers did concede, however, that its existence was not nearly as bewildering as that of another Mcfarlane series, American Dad.

“It’s basically a cheap rip-off of Family Guy,” said a writer for the unsubtle, ill-considered satire of American patriotism. “And we’re on the 10th season. Why did this show ever exist?”

Ex-writers for Macfarlane’s now-cancelled series The Cleveland Show say that they are glad their show has ended. “If no one can understand how Family Guy has made it this far, then there’s no way we should have ever been on the air in the first place with Cleveland,” said an anonymous former writer. “Thank God that show is over. Now I can go back to writing for real TV shows, like COPS.”

MacFarlane, FOX Announce ‘Family Guy’ Series Ending After Next Season

LOS ANGELES, California – McFarlane, FOX Announce 'Family Guy' Series To End After Next Season

One of the most popular animated shows in the history of television will be coming to end this fall. The show Family Guy, created by Seth MacFarlane, brought FOX’s rating to a new level, bringing in millions of viewers season after season for the last 15 years.

On top of being one of the most popular shows on television for several years, the show had a lot of ‘jewelry’ to show for their popularity; The series was nominated 13 times for an Emmy Award, winning 4. The acclaim kept most people assuming the show would air for several more years.

The decision does not come at the hands of FOX executives, but from creator MacFarlane, who says that the show has become ‘stagnated,’ and that it’s time he focus on his other cartoons American Dad and The Cleveland Show, as well his now-budding movie career.

“I’ve taken Family Guy exactly where it needed to go,” says MacFarlane. “The characters have traveled the world, had their follies. We’ve done musical numbers and covered all the topics I wanted to. With the crossover episode with The Simpsons airing in September, it will be the crown-jewel of the series, and I don’t want to drag it out any further.”

Roger Ailes the CEO of FOX News Channel commented on the matter.

“Seth created a great show, but we understand that he’s gone on to do bigger things. Not necessarily better things, but bigger things,” said Ailes. “The film Ted was a great success for him, and it’s afforded him the opportunity to make a sequel. His film A Million Ways To Die in the West was also a big money maker. It was fairly unwatchable in my opinion, but good for him for making the jump to live-action acting. [Seth] is making Hollywood money now. TV money won’t keep cutting it.”

Ailes said that he wishes that the network and MacFarlane could have come to an agreement on a contract renewal, but that several other shows are currently in the development process, with at least one hoped to be able to fill the vacant spot left by Family Guy on FOX’s ‘Animation Domination’ Sunday night block of programming.

“The show came out with a bang and pushed the envelope, and we were stupid and canceled it once already. The fans convinced us to bring it back, and Seth kept it going for years. If you ask me, though, the show has gotten a littler more dry over the years. I use to sit and watch and laugh like crazy but now when I watch it I feel a bit dumber, and I think the ratings have suffered a little, too.”

Several members of the cast were made aware of the show’s end several months ago, with all choosing to stay until the end of the series. Most, including Seth Green, voice of Chris Griffin, and Mila Kunis, voice of Meg Griffin, have already had long careers in Hollywood, and say they are not worried about where to go when the show ends.

“I’ve still got my show Robot Chicken that I created for Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim lineup,” said Green. “There are also talks with Mike [Meyers] about another Austin Powers film, which I really think will happen, and I’m excited for that. Voicing Chris on Family Guy all these years has been a blast, but as they say, good things end.”

FOX has the show’s final season, its 13th, slated to begin in September.


Woman Sues Movie Theatre After 12-Year-Old Son Is Admitted To PG-13 Film

TULSA, Oklahoma – woman files lawsuit after 12 year old son is admitted to pg-13 film

A mother in Tulsa, Oklahoma is suing the local movie theatre after her 12-year-old son was allowed to purchase a ticket to a PG-13 film without her consent. Mary Lambert, whose son Joe is only 12, says that she dropped her son off at the movie theatre to see the PG-rated film Minions with his friends, but instead they went to see the PG-13 rated film Pixels.

“My son knows that he is not allowed to watch those adult films until next year, and don’t you worry, he’s being punished at home, for sure,” said Lambert. “But someone has to be to blame for letting him into that movie, and that fault lies on the movie theatre itself. These ratings were put into law for a reason, and they’ve broken that law. They are going to pay for the warped mind my son will now have after seeing such adult content.”

“The movie ratings system is not a law, and this woman has no case whatsoever,” said Joe Goldsmith, owner of the Magic Lantern Cinema in Tulsa. “The MPAA, the group that gives these films their ratings, they only created this system to keep people, namely parents, informed about the content. They are not passed into law. Anyone can come in and buy a ticket to see any movie they’d like whenever they like. Our theatre, as well as most, do try and not allow children under 17 into R-rated movies, but that is a policy of our theatre, not a law. Even if the film was NC-17, that’s not law, that’s just a thought.”

Goldsmith is correct in his description of how the ratings system works, but Lambert is not alone in assuming that the MPAA ratings system – G for General Audiences, PG for Parental Guidance Suggest, PG-13 for Parents Strongly Cautioned (May Contain Content Inappropriate for Children Under 13), R for Restricted (Must be 17 or Have A Parent With You in the Theatre) and NC-17 for No Children 17 or Under Allowed – are laws that the movie theatres must follow. Over 85% of movie theatres, both independent and chain-cinemas, follow the rules of not allowing children under 17 to R-rated films, but that’s pretty much the only area the rules are enforced.

“We don’t play NC-17 films, like most movie theatres,” said Goldsmith. “If we did ever play one, we would not let anyone under 18 into that, either. Again, though – not because it’s a law, but because we feel that’s the right thing to do for the parents of this community.”

Lambert has said that she will take the case to the supreme court if necessary, and force them to uphold the MPAA ratings.

“Why make these ratings if you’re not going to enforce what they stand for?” said Lambert. “Why should I have to monitor what my kid watches? Do I actually need to get out of the car, stand in line with him, buy the ticket, and hold his hand all the way into the theatre? My God, next they’ll suggest I actually just watch a movie with him. Obviously these people have no idea that parents just don’t have time to pay that much attention to their kids. I should just expect them to monitor his films for me. He’s 12 – he is not allowed to see PG-13 films. End of story.”

Lambert has brought her case to a local attorney who will be filing the suit against the Magic Lantern at the end of the week.

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